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20230103

Dr. Courtney Chellew

Collin "Clancy" Barry

0.0-5.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Like, right after that, it didn't lift. 5.0-12.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, well, it did go away, but it took a week or two. 12.0-17.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: So it went away in detail. 17.0-23.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So what happened because of the psychosis? 23.0-25.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Like, what was your primary symptoms? 25.0-28.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It was really, I thought people talking. 28.0-43.5 MIX: The one talking to me the talking to me. Right. A test? A test? A test for what? 43.5-48.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Just like doing random things across the cycle. 48.0-77.0 MIX: Can you give hearing anything or? And what site board were you admitted to? 77.0-86.08000183105469 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And you came here afterwards. 88.4000015258789-89.83999633789062 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And how have things been going here at water gap for you? Like, what are you working on? 89.83999633789062-104.0 MIX: And. You don't really know what? I don't really know. 104.0-117.0 MIX: They're on Giodon. What's the gap of pension for? 117.0-121.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What's the gap of attention for? 121.0-126.4000015258789 Dr. Courtney Chellew: That anxiety? have a pencil for that anxiety. 128.39999389648438-143.0 MIX: Any other drug use in your life, Colin? Yeah, there is. You smoked it? 143.0-146.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How about now? 146.0-148.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Any recent use of weed? 148.0-150.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, but I'm going to stop the person? 150.0-154.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Are you having cravings to use? 154.0-177.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How much did you typically use before going to pen? This is a small thing. You aware that marijuana can also cause psychosis? 177.0-181.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, but it wasn't this marijuana. 181.0-183.60000610351562 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Is that the first time you used to Iowasco? 183.60000610351562-185.60000610351562 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No, I've done a lot of that. 185.60000610351562-189.60000610351562 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Did you hurt yourself? 189.60000610351562-195.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Did you hurt yourself or anything you did it? 195.0-227.0 MIX: I heard myself on that. How many times of sobriety? Why is that? 227.0-236.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How many days of sobriety do you have now? 236.0-237.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Uh, just... 237.0-239.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: That's the office. 239.0-243.72000122070312 Dr. Courtney Chellew: That's good meetings or. 243.72000122070312-247.1999969482422 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No, I just, I wouldn't say my threat is bad. 247.1999969482422-256.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It was much worse, I was not going to the same thing. And what was that for? 256.0-258.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And what was that for? 258.0-260.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: That was for DSM and X-A-S. 260.0-261.0 Doctor Name:: Okay. 261.0-266.0 MIX: How much Xanax did you change? I would think it was three wars a day. 266.0-270.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: But it would have got to a point where I would take like a full script. 270.0-274.5 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, it was bad. 281.0-284.2799987792969 Collin "Clancy" Barry: So you were taking like upwards more than six milligrams a day or how many milligrams a day total of winter tape of Santa? I wouldn't say it was a day because it was kind of broke. 284.2799987792969-301.2799987792969 Collin "Clancy" Barry: But whatever I had money would be. But so how is your cravings for other drugs now besides marijuana? 301.2799987792969-302.4800109863281 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you get cravings? 302.4800109863281-304.8800048828125 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I really have cravings for marijuana. Do you get cravings for other things to? 304.8800048828125-307.0400085449219 Collin "Clancy" Barry: But even the cravings for marijuana or one, 309.8399963378906-310.79998779296875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: you can get some same, that's more honest. 310.79998779296875-315.0 MIX: They burn nicotine. How much have they? 315.0-317.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How much to use? 317.0-324.0 MIX: How much have How much? 324.0-327.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I have been paid for your phone. 327.0-334.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: When you go to stop smoking cigarettes? 334.0-356.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I try. It was a lot worse and most of one. 358.5-360.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How about alcohol? 360.0-361.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I don't really. 361.0-362.0 MIX: It's not. 362.0-364.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: No. Any opiates? 364.0-368.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I was never really. 368.0-370.0 MIX: What would you say? 370.0-373.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What would you say, your drug of choices? 373.0-378.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Definitely at the time it was the exam. 378.0-380.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Very nice school. 380.0-384.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: But now I'd say it's... Okay. 384.0-390.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Um, and in terms of mental health, to tell me like what's happening with that, 390.0-393.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: and wait, you go by Colin, not Clancy. 393.0-405.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Okay. What happened? 405.0-413.44000244140625 MIX: I tried to film myself. 418.1600036621094-436.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: When was that was, yeah, like two weeks ago. What did you do? 436.0-437.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You said you try to kill yourself? 437.0-463.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah. You do his main at the same thing. Sorry, I just thought all of them. The hospital, it kind of got a lot better. 463.0-467.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So you were admitted to the hospital? 467.0-469.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No, I would just want to threat a... 469.0-471.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: By a patient? 471.0-473.0 MIX: Or how did you try to hurt yourself? and violation. 475.0-477.0 ollin "Clancy" Barry: How did you try to hurt yourself? 479.0-487.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: And then what happened after did you tell anyone? Yeah. So I sat is. 517.0-531.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So I'm necessarily. Have you had any other suicide attempts? I took you. I saw it. You weren't using drugs then, but you were depressed. You were depressed for most of your life. You're still having psychosis two to three weeks ago. 532.0-534.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, but it's got a lot better. 534.0-537.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: That's like the only thing that's happening now is the car. 537.0-540.0 MIX: It's a little bit. 540.0-542.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you see that all day? 542.0-544.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Not all day. 544.0-546.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Just... 546.0-563.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How do you sleep at night? You sleep the night? 563.0-576.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What can you try? Okay, how do you eat? 576.0-578.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How do you take care of yourself? 578.0-580.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I eat what? 580.0-582.0 MIX: I eat. 582.0-597.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: That's true. I have ventures, so. I 599.0-604.0 MIX: I have my weather they're called so far. Adiels to shower How for D-Shower? 604.0-606.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Uh-huh. 606.0-614.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Tell me about your family. 614.0-617.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Where are you from, Colin? 617.0-619.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: From Korean Township, Jersey. 619.0-620.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What township is it? 620.0-622.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Great Township? 622.0-636.0 MIX: Where is that in New Jersey? I don't really get along with my dad. 636.0-642.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Why didn't you get along with the cow? 642.0-644.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Uh, me, do you say along with the job? When did you say that? 644.0-654.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: When did your dad make here? 654.0-668.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Sure, the police ever been called or? 668.0-670.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You've called it. 670.0-675.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Why was that? 675.0-677.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: An issue for you? 677.0-678.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Uh, too. 678.0-681.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What happens when you get angry? 681.0-693.0 MIX: Totally I'm sharing. Have you ever been physical with them? 693.0-697.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Have you ever been in a fight with anybody? 697.0-700.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I've got a fight in school, but not I'll study that. 700.0-704.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I got spelled from the school. How old was that? 704.0-706.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How old are you in that happen? 710.0-712.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So this was the high school? 712.0-713.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah. 713.0-715.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Was there a twelve middle school? 715.0-717.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I was there for... 717.0-720.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You graduate? 720.0-724.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, it was a private school. 724.0-727.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you have brothers or sisters? 727.0-728.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I have a sister. 728.0-729.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How does she? 729.0-730.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: She's. 735.0-737.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Are you close with her? Yeah, we're close. 737.0-743.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Did you see your family like for the holidays or? 745.0-747.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What was the last time you saw them or spoke with them? 747.0-748.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Out of family, doesn't it? 752.0-757.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And how was that? 757.0-759.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What do you guys do? 759.0-767.0 MIX: You guys don't really talk much when you're together. 767.0-775.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you have family visits with your therapist? 776.0-777.0 MIX: Your therapist? 778.0-779.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Outside here. Here. 779.0-782.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Oh, you have family's like sessions? 782.0-783.0 MIX: Yeah. 783.0-784.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, I'm sorry. 784.0-785.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah. 785.0-786.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: She's sharing. 786.0-787.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: She's sharing. 787.0-790.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What have you guys been working on? 790.0-792.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Anxiety. 792.0-794.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you have like panic attacks when you say you're, you know? 794.0-795.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah. 795.0-797.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Maybe my dad, no. 797.0-800.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Tell me about your anxiety common. 800.0-808.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's mainly social anxiety, but like public places 808.0-817.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I don't really, like, I mean, I've got situations, really good situations, mainly, it's really good, not such an impact. 817.0-823.0 MIX: How do you do that in like in groups? 823.0-827.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Well, it's a little different. 827.0-829.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: You've always been in and out of... 829.0-851.0 M: You don't get anxiety and group, like, are able to participate and share. You're right, somebody better now? 851.0-863.4400024414062 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Yeah. somewhat better now. They haven't gotten your weight in a really long time. 863.4400024414062-865.4000244140625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you think you've gained or lost in your weight? 865.4000244140625-866.5999755859375 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Definitely gained. 866.5999755859375-868.52001953125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You've definitely gained someone. 868.52001953125-870.9199829101562 Collin "Clancy" Barry: So you're eating three meals a day? 870.9199829101562-878.239990234375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Yeah. Do you think you have any side effects from your medication? 878.239990234375-883.3599853515625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. You're on Giodon. 885.8800048828125-886.719970703125 Doctor Name: : Remarant? 887.719970703125-888.6400146484375 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's not here. 890.5599975585938-891.5599975585938 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How often do you use that? 896.0-905.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Just for insomnia? And then the lithium you take 600 milligrams twice a day. 905.0-910.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Are, and are you aware of like the side effects with lithium? 910.0-911.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah. 911.0-915.0 MIX: Yeah. What can affect the kidneys? 915.0-919.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So you have to stay very well hydrated. 919.0-922.0 MIX: Yeah, I always have a water with you. 922.0-923.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay, good. 923.0-926.8800048828125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And then there's an important thing to remember with lithium is that you're not allowed 926.8800048828125-931.52001953125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: to take any pain medication other than Tylenol when you're on lithium. 931.52001953125-940.0 MIX: You know that? So no ibuprofen, apoxine, Advil, believe, really only tylinal. 940.0-945.5999755859375 MIX: Really? Does it affect your belly at all? 945.5999755859375-948.3200073242188 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Like no nausea or anything like that? 948.3200073242188-958.3200073242188 MIX: No, I was doing the last time your level was checked? 958.3200073242188-964.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's been a, it's since the hospital, two weeks, their tour. 964.0-967.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 967.0-972.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And what was your, um, your level at that time? 972.0-974.0 MIX: Uh, normal. It was normal. 974.0-976.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 976.0-981.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Because you came on that dose of lithium and then your dose, 981.0-987.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: so it was looks like it was last checked November 11th and it was 0.9. 987.0-997.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Right. So the dose of the Chiodon has been decreased, right? 997.0-998.0 MIX: Yeah. 998.0-1006.719970703125 MIX: Uh, that may be tired. You know that you have to take that medication with food in order for 1006.719970703125-1017.0399780273438 MIX: it to eat right. 1019.5999755859375-1021.5999755859375 MIX: Yeah, so that's kind of an important component of the list. Or the geodon is that you have to take it. 1030.239990234375-1034.3199462890625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Or have to take it. So typically more after if you have time. It like hitches a ride on the food to get absorbed into your body. 1034.3199462890625-1038.6400146484375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: If you don't eat, then it won't get absorbed. I'll kind of go through a little bit. 1041.8399658203125-1043.3599853515625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you have any medical problems? 1043.3599853515625-1047.3599853515625 MIX: Like, no. 1047.3599853515625-1057.5999755859375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: That's really it. No heart problems, belly issues, skin issues, dizziness, headaches, 1057.5999755859375-1058.5999755859375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: nothing like that. 1058.5999755859375-1059.5999755859375 Collin "Clancy" Barry: You get headaches. 1059.5999755859375-1063.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I think it's from other patients. 1063.0-1064.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Often, you get headaches. 1064.0-1068.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It was maybe from stress, even. 1068.0-1072.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's been a lot of that. 1072.0-1074.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's really bad migraines. 1074.0-1076.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Really bad migraines. 1076.0-1078.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Migraines. 1078.0-1080.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And are you getting them here? 1085.0-1095.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Have you ever had surgery? Is there any allergies? 1097.0-1099.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: What happens when you get that? It makes me a manic. 1100.0-1115.0 MIX: What happens when you get manic? I mean, I don't get like impressive, like over like a boy. 1117.0-1128.47998046875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Like the talkative or, okay, when was the last time you were manic? 1132.0-1134.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Any reckless or impulsive behavior when you're manic? Spending money. 1142.0-1144.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: I mean, I'll do drugs, but I just don't like. It's not like that's worse. 1144.0-1145.0 MIX: Yeah. 1145.0-1149.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I was younger before I learned to like to say 1149.0-1150.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: that. 1150.0-1152.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 1152.0-1157.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So like more talkative, more energetic. Is your sleep disrupted typically too? 1157.0-1158.0 BOTH: If you're more. 1158.0-1167.0 MIX: Yeah, I'll still become that? 1167.0-1177.0 MIX: I'm diagnosed with... That was the first time you got Maddox? 1177.0-1178.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No. 1178.0-1183.56005859375 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I would say I don't remember when first man that was, 1183.56005859375-1186.56005859375 Collin "Clancy" Barry: because they all pinched points to be like, 1186.56005859375-1188.56005859375 Collin "Clancy" Barry: my mania isn't that bad, 1188.56005859375-1191.280029296875 Collin "Clancy" Barry: but it's definitely not vulnerable. 1191.280029296875-1194.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And does anybody else in your family have me now? 1194.0-1196.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Like your parents or sister? 1196.0-1198.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Not my sister. 1198.0-1205.0 MIX: Is that your dad's sister, your mom's sister? 1205.0-1207.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: So that runs today my mom. 1207.0-1210.0 MIX: Okay. 1210.0-1219.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So you have bipolar disorder, social anxiety, generalized anxiety. 1219.0-1222.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Let's see. Okay. 1222.0-1227.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So how do you feel about like where we're at in terms of your medication? 1227.0-1232.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Uh, I like medication. I think it works a lot really well. 1232.0-1233.0 BOTH: Have you had any hallucinations? I think it works a lot really well. 1233.0-1235.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Have you had any hallucinations? 1235.0-1237.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No, not full. 1237.0-1238.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What do you mean not full? 1238.0-1239.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's just the carpet. 1239.0-1240.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Just the carpet, like you said. 1240.0-1242.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Any paranoia? 1242.0-1253.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No. I mean, I put my job because of five or what was that? 1253.0-1254.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: That was... 1254.0-1267.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What were you doing? How long have you been there? 1267.0-1278.6400146484375 MIX: I was there for about a year. How are you doing here in terms of like the other people? 1278.6400146484375-1279.800048828125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Like do you have friends? 1279.800048828125-1280.5999755859375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Are you? 1280.5999755859375-1281.800048828125 BOTH: Do you have to go? 1281.800048828125-1285.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Kind of sick to myself. That's kind of the way you've always been. 1285.0-1291.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you have friends that you communicate with or talk to on the outside? 1291.0-1294.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, I do. 1294.0-1296.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Well, not now. 1296.0-1327.0 MIX: I don't know. What happened? I was trying to this program. So I think he's not a minute like that. 1327.0-1335.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: So I think he's good, no, perhaps, just times, space. Do you have other people that are close to? 1335.0-1337.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Not right now. 1337.0-1339.0 MIX: Not right now. 1339.0-1344.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Maybe the people were at the other top side of it. 1344.0-1347.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Could you envision going back to that top? 1347.0-1348.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, try to. 1348.0-1350.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: My mom doesn't want me to. 1350.0-1351.0 NA: Why? 1351.0-1355.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: That's where I would do draft. 1355.0-1358.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So she's worried about that. 1358.0-1366.5999755859375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And would you go back to live with your parents when you leave here? 1368.9000244140625-1370.9000244140625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And you said that your relationship with your dad's not that good. What about your relationship with your mom? 1385.0-1394.0 MIX: It's so south. Why that? It's better than with my mom. But I just, she kind of enables my 9th to. They'll talk to her, but I can't really get too intact tap some things. 1394.0-1396.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Is your mom and dad work? 1396.0-1397.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: What do they do? 1397.0-1399.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: All some cow work. 1399.0-1400.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: My dad's. 1406.6400146484375-1408.6400146484375 Collin "Clancy" Barry: So they're kind of busy like during the day then? Yeah, well, I'm out or she's home. 1408.6400146484375-1410.6400146484375 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's three days of me. 1410.6400146484375-1417.0 MIX: My dad's always home. So I both home, but they're like busy working all the time. 1417.0-1427.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you feel safe when you're at home, like living there? Do you have any history of abuse or trauma? 1427.0-1447.0 MIX: Do you have any history of abuse or trauma? Sorry. It's this chair. 1447.0-1449.0 BOTH: Yes, I'll take it. 1449.0-1450.0 BOTH: Yes, I'll take it. 1450.0-1452.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Thank you. 1452.0-1454.9200439453125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: It seems like people have kind of like moved it forward and 1454.9200439453125-1459.0799560546875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: backwards and that they're like, like when people sit they're like worried it's 1459.0799560546875-1464.0 NA: gonna break. Thank you. No problem. 1464.0-1466.0 NA: Sorry about that. 1466.0-1505.0 MIX: What traumatic things have happened if you don't mind? Were you bullied or? Trips. TREPS? 1505.0-1507.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, I had one. 1507.0-1510.0 NA: I had one. 1510.0-1525.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I was picked up by a 5-5-military I went to tackle to look at the HMTs. 1525.0-1534.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: And they like threw me on the throw and like put my 30 on my back and the hip and freeze. 1534.0-1537.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And what you had a seizure because of drugs? 1537.0-1546.0 MIX: Yeah, I had the bad trip because of seizure. When was that? 1546.0-1548.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: That was right before. 1548.0-1557.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's two weeks time you've been admitted before? 1557.0-1561.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No, I haven't admitted three times now. 1561.0-1584.0 MIX: What were the other ones. Oh, that was like a rehab? 1584.0-1586.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No, it was a rehab. 1586.0-1597.0 MIX: They said they had a growing household program. How was that experience? 1597.0-1602.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: It's different, I guess. 1602.0-1603.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Different stuff? Different, I guess. Different. 1603.0-1605.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: So, um, 1605.0-1606.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: um, 1606.0-1608.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: it's rubber gang. 1608.0-1610.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Like, 1610.0-1612.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: screw me out of that 1612.0-1615.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: those constantly, you know, like, 1615.0-1620.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: throwing to your back and their back and the ground, and they'll pack it on the ground, 1620.0-1621.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: stepping out of. 1621.0-1625.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: I was just like a family. 1625.199951171875-1628.199951171875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How would you when that happened? 1628.199951171875-1629.199951171875 BOTH: 17. 1654.0-1661.0 MIX: What's your longest period of sobriety? How did you do that? And how are you doing now in terms of like participating with AA or any? 1661.0-1663.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: After COVID. 1666.0-1667.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What? 1667.0-1670.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What was that? 1670.0-1674.4000244140625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: But why did you stop going just because there wasn't any meetings? 1674.4000244140625-1676.4000244140625 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Oh, yeah. We didn't like the online. 1678.8800048828125-1694.0 MIX: How long has it been sober? number. Yeah, I know. 1694.0-1696.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: But that was not the whole. 1696.0-1698.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Anything with your mom? 1698.0-1699.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: No, no. 1699.0-1701.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: That, just one. 1701.0-1711.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. So. So it looks like your last lab work was done in November. 1711.0-1715.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So we might check that again in like like two weeks or so. 1715.0-1719.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Okay, I got high discharge or do you miss coming up. 1719.0-1740.4000244140625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: I can order it now then but let's do it again. So we won't necessarily change your medication is that? 1740.4000244140625-1752.1600341796875 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Yeah, that's fine. I point on honesty up to the lower dosage of Deodont fells, brain taps, because I missed 1752.1600341796875-1757.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: two days. I if you miss doses, it can cause brains apes. 1757.0-1759.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Got it. Yeah, it's really bad. 1759.0-1760.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Yeah. 1760.0-1763.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: So, yeah, we could leave it. 1763.0-1764.0 MIX: That's fine. 1764.0-1766.0 Collin "Clancy" Barry: Do you have any questions for me, Colin? 1766.0-1769.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Thank you for your time. 1769.0-1778.280029296875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You take care. Have a good day, okay? Okay. 1787.0-1792.56005859375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You can crack it? Thank you see what I was talking about? 1792.56005859375-1793.8800048828125 NA: Thank you, so I was. 1793.8800048828125-1795.1600341796875 NA: Just loose on the bottom. 1795.1600341796875-1796.0799560546875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay, perfect. 1796.0799560546875-1797.0799560546875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So, thank you. 1797.0799560546875-1798.0799560546875 NA: You should be good. 1798.0799560546875-1798.5799560546875 NA: Great, thanks. 1798.5799560546875-1810.7840576171875 NA: You're welcome. and something like that.

GMT20230126_DCC_1049

20230126

Dr. Courtney Chellew

Option 108

0.0-181.52000427246094 NA: you you know. you you know, you know. You know. Thank you. you just you know, you know, you know, Good morning. How are you, Michael? 181.52000427246094-183.0 Option 108: Okay. 183.0-186.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: I'm Dr. Shephue, one of the psychiatrist that works here. 186.0-187.0 DCC: Nice to meet you. 187.0-190.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Do you go by Mike, Michael, or something else? 190.0-192.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: There's something you prefer your back this far. 192.0-195.0 Option 108: There's a couple of, There's another mic here as well. 195.0-196.0 BOTH: Right. 196.0-197.0 BOTH: Right. 197.0-198.0 BOTH: Right. 198.0-200.0 Option 108: But I mean, I grew up with a name. 200.0-202.0 Option 108: That's very very popular at the time. 202.0-203.0 Option 108: So. Are you used the time, so. 203.0-204.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: They're used to that. 204.0-206.0 Option 108: They used to those things. 206.0-210.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So tell me what it is that brings you into CS today. 210.0-212.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You're referred from home, is that right? 212.0-214.0 Option 108: Correct, yeah. 214.0-218.0 Option 108: So I've always been pretty good heavy drinker. 218.0-222.0 Option 108: Mostly social, I've never been, not an angry drinker. 222.0-230.16000366210938 Option 108: No violence, no things like that. But you know obviously drinking 230.16000366210938-236.0 Option 108: to excess a lot and things like that, but probably even more so I've had a few 236.0-241.27999877929688 Option 108: tragedities in my life that really kind of don't know if I've 100% dealt with 241.27999877929688-247.52000427246094 Option 108: them other than self-medicating through alcohol, which also led to some of 247.52000427246094-254.0 Option 108: the mental health issues like depression and anxiety and stress and all that. 254.0-257.44000244140625 Option 108: I work in a very high stressful environment 257.44000244140625-259.2799987792969 Option 108: in the advertising marketing world. 259.2799987792969-260.6000061035156 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 260.6000061035156-261.2799987792969 Option 108: When was this? 261.2799987792969-271.0 Option 108: Creative director. So a lot of treasure and a lot of late nights and a lot of deadlines that are, you know, I knew this five minutes ago. 271.0-285.0 MIX: Oh boy, okay. So that stress would create a lot of stress and anxiety. But I didn't think at that point, like the depression wasn't that bad because they had to be moving so fast. 285.0-290.0 Option 108: And, but I did, you know, self-Medicaid, so to speak. 290.0-298.79998779296875 Option 108: I mean, I didn't think I worked in an industry in the alcohol booze industry for Diageo, Pruno, 298.79998779296875-311.0 Option 108: all the big biggest liquor holding companies in the world. So I've worked on, creatively worked on pretty much every booze beer wine brand that there is out there. 311.0-315.0799865722656 Option 108: So it was always part of that my culture like in all my 315.0799865722656-321.44000244140625 Option 108: surroundings, whether at the events or you know I mean given in our office we had a 321.44000244140625-324.0 Option 108: full bar and bags in our office, we had a full bar and three bags in our office. 324.0-325.0 BOTH: Okay. 325.0-329.4800109863281 Option 108: But it's mostly for tours, but you know, they opened it up at 5.30 and everyone could sit 329.4800109863281-332.0 Option 108: and have a happy hour and do that. 332.0-338.0 Option 108: Okay. I lived in Manhattan for 16 years so the accessibility and everything was there. 338.7200012207031-345.0 Option 108: But I didn't find it to be a huge problem as much of a problem as it's probably been over the last three 345.0-358.44000244140625 Option 108: years and the pandemic pretty much kind of set a little bit of that off. I got married and we moved out of the city and moved up to Connecticut, bought a house 358.44000244140625-364.0 MIX: during the beginning of the pandemic, which worked out really well. When did you get married? 364.0-368.0 Option 108: September 25th, six years ago. 368.0-370.0 Option 108: Another one. 370.0-372.0 Option 108: Six, 15, 16, 16. 372.0-374.0 BOTH: Okay. 374.0-378.0 BOTH: It's 20, 23. 378.0-380.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Is it 2017 or? 380.0-382.0 Option 108: It was 2018. 382.0-384.0 BOTH: 2018. Okay, 2018. 384.0-388.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So you got married, married in 2018. 388.0-389.0 Option 108: Now was my second marriage. 389.0-391.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Second, when was your first marriage? 391.0-398.0 MIX: My first marriage was 2004. So when? At 2009. 2009. 398.0-408.8800048828125 MIX: So we're together for 10 years married for five. And then that started off when we got divorced, it started 408.8800048828125-412.6400146484375 Option 108: off an absolute tragic events in my life. 414.9599914550781-420.79998779296875 Option 108: I got out that she was having an affair and just completely devastated me. 421.2799987792969-424.1600036621094 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You found this after the fact that you guys got divorced. 424.1600036621094-425.1600036621094 Option 108: No, that was the reason. 427.3599853515625-431.1600036621094 Option 108: But it was just, it was just shock. 431.67999267578125-432.1199951171875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Yeah. 432.1199951171875-436.55999755859375 Option 108: Everything was fine and everything was good. 436.55999755859375-446.0 Option 108: And then after we did like a mediation, we didn't have lawyers and stuff, but we did 446.0-451.0 Option 108: it was very hard. I was very depressed and things that. 451.0-455.0 Option 108: I would obviously be drinking probably much heavier. 455.0-459.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Is this kind of when your depression and drinking got much more intense. 459.0-470.0 Option 108: A little bit. Yeah, I mean, definitely then, and then probably a month after that, I got the news that my stepdad committed suicide. 472.0-482.0 Option 108: And he was like, he was kind of like my father, like, growing up, he taught me out of basketball, he's taught me out of playing health, and taught me out of shape. 482.0-485.0 Option 108: And, you know, he was just a good man. 485.0-491.0 Option 108: So that was a big blow and he didn't leave a note or anything. 491.0-496.1600036621094 Option 108: So it was always that emptiness of not knowing why or the guilt and the shame 496.1600036621094-503.0 Option 108: of not being able to help and things like that. And then I started getting into hiking. 503.0-506.0 Option 108: I was always, I've been an avid hiker and climber. 506.0-516.239990234375 Option 108: So I started really getting into a lot of, you know, heavy climbing and hiking and did a lot of big adventures and went to Alaska for 516.239990234375-523.2000122070312 Option 108: three weeks and was hikes and some big mountains, you know, in the 20,000, you know, 19,000 speed. 523.2000122070312-528.0 Option 108: And that was great. 528.0-529.0 Option 108: I trained really hard. 529.0-530.0 Option 108: I didn't drink. 530.0-531.0 Option 108: I didn't smoke. 531.0-536.3200073242188 Option 108: I didn't, you know, I had a personal trainer. I was in the dust shape of my life. 537.5999755859375-542.6799926757812 Option 108: And my best friend had quick drinking and drugs. He was on some heavy drugs and drugs. 542.6799926757812-545.9600219726562 Option 108: He was on some heavy drugs and drinking. 545.9600219726562-551.760009765625 Option 108: But he quit and people started training and hiking 551.760009765625-557.0 Option 108: to do the West Coast, so Rainier and Whitney and a couple of other big 557.0-567.0399780273438 Option 108: mountains. And I was trained on East Coast and he lived in Colorado and probably about three months after my dad's step, 568.239990234375-575.760009765625 Option 108: he was climbing and meld throughout the canyon and the footing fell out and fell like 180 feet and someone died. 577.760009765625-585.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So again, those are the three. A lot of things all at one, like very traumatic things all happening within like quick succession. 585.0-595.0 Option 108: So that left me very empty and sad and depressed and, you know, alone, you know, I didn't have a friend. 597.1199951171875-598.1199951171875 Option 108: It had. 598.1199951171875-599.760009765625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: This was like your closest friend? 599.760009765625-600.760009765625 Option 108: My best friend. 601.760009765625-615.0399780273438 MIX: And you guys had been climbing together. Yeah, I actually, he was, when I first got him into climbing, he was like, you know, always anti I take everything and we would hike in 615.0399780273438-620.9199829101562 Option 108: the Adirondacks in New York and and I got him hooked and he loved it and I 620.9199829101562-625.0 Option 108: sometimes feel guilty and because I got him into it and killed him. 625.0-627.0 Option 108: You know. 627.0-629.0 Option 108: Um, not really. 629.0-630.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: It's okay. 630.0-635.4400024414062 Option 108: It's been a long time, but it's still thick about ours. 635.4400024414062-637.4400024414062 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Of course. 637.4400024414062-642.4400024414062 Option 108: I know he died doing what he loved. 642.4400024414062-644.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What is he did? 644.0-646.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And sometimes it's like, you can never predict, right? 646.0-656.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: There's Alex Hanlon out there who's, you know, doing all these, you know, free soloing and stuff and people that, you know, and sometimes it's bad luck. 656.0-658.0 Option 108: Yeah. 658.0-665.0 Option 108: So, that went on for a little while and then. 665.0-667.2000122070312 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Can I ask your question? 667.2000122070312-670.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Did that, are you still able to hike and climb 670.0-673.7999877929688 Dr. Courtney Chellew: and enjoy that or has that sacked some of the ability or? 673.7999877929688-676.5999755859375 Option 108: I still do a lot of hiking and climbing. 676.5999755859375-679.5999755859375 Option 108: Just less over like two and a half months ago, 679.5999755859375-688.3200073242188 Option 108: three months ago, I did a section on the AT from New York through all of Connecticut and into Massachusetts. 688.3200073242188-694.0 Option 108: And I've done some of the White Mountains and presidential range and stuff. 694.0-696.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How long were you out then? 696.0-698.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How long are you like, where you did that take you? 698.0-701.0 Option 108: That trip was a nine-day trip, 701.0-708.9600219726562 Option 108: carrying a full pack through, which was probably very, it was much more difficult 708.9600219726562-719.0 Option 108: than my Alaska trip, just because we had people to help and we, you know, I do a summit, I would have like a summit pack instead of a 60 pound pack a year and everything. 719.0-722.719970703125 Option 108: And it was probably one of the hottest weeks 722.719970703125-723.9600219726562 Option 108: that we had in May. 723.9600219726562-726.47998046875 Option 108: It was actually in May, so it's been more than that. 726.47998046875-727.5999755859375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 729.0-749.3599853515625 Option 108: But I've only roped up once since that, and it was at his, we got the guy that he was with that when he died and fell, he took us up to the place and we all roped up to where he final resting place. 749.3599853515625-754.9600219726562 Option 108: And it wasn't, it was only like, you know, a couple hundred feet, you know, but that was the only time 754.9600219726562-762.0800170898438 Option 108: that I really roped up since. I've been wanting to get, I have a seven-year-old, 762.0800170898438-763.280029296875 Option 108: he just turned seven. 765.280029296875-769.280029296875 Option 108: And I've gone to the gym and he's climbed up the mountain. 769.280029296875-776.239990234375 Option 108: And I get chills, but you know, I fight through it. Yeah. It's you know I don't want to hold 776.239990234375-782.1199951171875 MIX: him from experience in the greatness of it. Is do you hike with him? I'll be 782.1199951171875-788.239990234375 Option 108: hike a lot. Yeah. I mean ever since he was a baby like I had a baby backpack and 788.760009765625-805.6400146484375 MIX: I mean, it was all sleep in my back. Yeah, that was great. So all of these things happened kind of back in 2009 was everything kind of, you know, very quick succession. You said you never really like went to therapy or maybe like I did I 805.6400146484375-817.760009765625 Option 108: was living in the city at the time and after my wife and my stepdad died in before and in between that, you know, I got like a 818.760009765625-833.52001953125 Option 108: I met with a woman, you know, maybe like four or five times. I didn't feel like she was good and was in the city and I just felt like I was too punching it like, it just didn't feel like, and maybe it was probably my fault 833.52001953125-835.8400268554688 Option 108: because I wasn't ready to share. 835.8400268554688-838.0399780273438 Option 108: I probably didn't give it 100% myself. 840.0399780273438-846.239990234375 Option 108: And, you know, and I think, you know, obviously I was still drinking, you know, during, during the time. 846.239990234375-855.8400268554688 Option 108: So, you know, it would hide, hide and mask all the pain and stuff and it was outlet that you know maybe and I was drinking 855.8400268554688-859.280029296875 Option 108: heavy at that time like probably you know because I you know I didn't really 859.280029296875-862.6799926757812 Option 108: I mean the only thing that really kind of kept me going with work. 862.6799926757812-864.7999877929688 Option 108: You know, I just put everything into work. 866.3200073242188-871.3200073242188 Option 108: And then I met my current wife. 871.6400146484375-873.0 MIX: And yeah, it was exciting. And. my current wife. That's her name. 873.0-874.0 Option 108: Yeah, it was exciting. 874.0-878.0 DCC: And we actually worked at the same place, and then she left. 878.0-880.0 Option 108: And we kept seeing each other. 880.0-885.0 Option 108: And we were friends for a long time. 885.0-890.0 MIX: We were friends for a couple, like a month or two before we like started to be in the treat. 890.0-902.0 Option 108: So every night we would talk, you know, like we'd sit, you know, we'd go get a glass of wine and we'd sit at a restaurant or whatever and you know, we talked and it was like a good friend and we loved that about her. 902.0-908.0 Option 108: And that progressively got better and then we both be, 908.0-912.0 Option 108: so something happened where she, her other job, she lost her job, 912.0-912.8800048828125 Option 108: or she, yeah, she lost her job, 912.8800048828125-915.5999755859375 Option 108: or she, yeah, she lost her job. 915.5999755859375-917.760009765625 Option 108: So we did like a domestic partnership 917.760009765625-920.4000244140625 Option 108: so she could get it on my insurance and everything. 921.9199829101562-936.3200073242188 Option 108: And then we moved in together and then we decided that we wanted to leave the city. So we maybe stepped into like Stanford, which is like 936.8800048828125-941.2000122070312 Option 108: like 45 minutes off the train into Manhattan. So it's an easy commute. 941.760009765625-945.5999755859375 Option 108: It was, you know, you got a little bit outside. 945.5999755859375-947.5999755859375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So when did you move to Connecticut? 947.5999755859375-955.0 Option 108: Um, 2011 I think, two thousand, I think, two thousand, I think 2011 I think 2011. 955.0-966.5599975585938 MIX: Okay. So you've been in Connecticut for a while. Yeah, I mean I've been with my current wife for 10 years now and I've been married for six. I see. 967.6799926757812-984.5599975585938 MIX: What's your wife's name? Stephanie Stephanie with an F. Okay. And tell me about your relationship now. Um, it's great. She's she's my best friend, she's my confidem, I think that the doctor said told her 984.5599975585938-987.5599975585938 Option 108: that she probably was gonna have very difficult times 987.5599975585938-990.9199829101562 Option 108: having a kid when we had talked about it and everything 990.9199829101562-994.0 Option 108: and it's when we moved to Stanford. 994.0-999.0 Option 108: When we first moved, I guess, maybe not 2000. 999.0-1002.6400146484375 Option 108: I don't know, the dates are probably a little bit of it. 1002.6400146484375-1004.6400146484375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Maybe 10 years ago or less? 1004.6400146484375-1008.2000122070312 Option 108: Um, well, yeah, it's definitely 10, probably 10 years ago. 1008.2000122070312-1009.4000244140625 Option 108: So yeah, probably. 1009.4000244140625-1011.7999877929688 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay, so maybe like 2013? 1011.7999877929688-1019.3599853515625 Option 108: Yeah, 2013 or 2013 maybe. Well, because my, we just moved into Stanford and 1019.3599853515625-1025.760009765625 Option 108: we found out that she was pregnant. So I had I had already when we first moved in 1025.760009765625-1034.0 Option 108: Stanford I put the we had a two-bedroom and I made like a nice man's cave and like a TV and everything. 1034.0-1038.0 Option 108: And then we found out she was pregnant and I hadn't sold it all on Facebook. 1038.0-1051.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And then we turned it into the baby room and then you have a son or a son and what's his name miles miles and you said he just turned seven he just turned seven two days. 1051.0-1068.8800048828125 Option 108: Oh, okay. So it brings to another craziness was my, when my wife was like eight months pregnant and I was at work and he called me and she said 1069.5999755859375-1078.47998046875 Option 108: we're having a baby. We went in, he was obviously early. I had to spend like two or three 1078.47998046875-1085.0 Option 108: nights in the hospital. They had trouble dilating her and they had to do all these different things, 1085.0-1096.47998046875 Option 108: monitoring his heartbeat and it came out, he was like four pounds 11 ounces so he's been they brought into the NICU and 1097.760009765625-1102.9200439453125 Option 108: and then for the first two and a half weeks every day got progressively worse. 1102.9200439453125-1105.52001953125 Option 108: It got a collapse long, second lung collapsed. 1105.52001953125-1107.52001953125 Option 108: He had to do his spinals on. 1110.52001953125-1117.0 Option 108: Break, we had to do an MRI because Ithey had left the bruising on his head when he came out. 1117.0-1123.0 Option 108: So it was about the first week I could, you know, could hold him yet. 1123.0-1125.800048828125 Option 108: Other, he went on my wife's chest in the beginning, 1125.800048828125-1127.43994140625 Option 108: but then they put pleasure to mention. 1127.43994140625-1129.5999755859375 Option 108: Thank you. 1129.5999755859375-1143.5999755859375 Option 108: So my wife was having a little postpartum and very upset and I was trying to, I was very strong for her. But when I left her, I had to have to go outside and I would do, you know, talk to the mom, you know, talked to the mom, 1143.5999755859375-1148.239990234375 Option 108: you know, very dramatic and sad and everything. 1148.239990234375-1155.0 Option 108: And two and a half weeks went, and it just clicked. 1155.0799560546875-1158.280029296875 Option 108: And he was great and so fortunate. 1158.280029296875-1170.0 Option 108: And his beautiful, very great, amazing little boy, smart, as hell, and very happy. 1170.0-1173.0 MIX: You know, we do a lot of things with him. 1173.0-1175.0 Option 108: I mean, he's a only child. 1175.0-1180.0 Option 108: You did try another, to have another kid and my wife had a miscarriage. 1180.0-1182.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: I'm sorry. 1182.0-1186.1600341796875 Option 108: So obviously, there's a bit of ups and downs in my life 1186.1600341796875-1188.56005859375 Option 108: in the last decade or so. 1200.0-1202.0 Option 108: But then, after we left Stanford, during the beginning of the pandemic in March of 2020, we bought a house in Fairfield. 1202.0-1203.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 1203.0-1206.0 Option 108: And we got in, right, people, craziness happened. 1206.0-1207.0 BOTH: That's good. 1207.0-1208.0 BOTH: Okay. 1208.0-1209.0 Option 108: Interest rates were low. 1209.0-1210.0 Option 108: We had a really good deal. 1210.0-1212.0 Option 108: We had been looking for a house for like two years 1212.0-1213.52001953125 Option 108: and just couldn't find the right one. 1214.0-1218.47998046875 Option 108: This one was great. The schools were great. Everything we wanted in the house and 1219.9200439453125-1230.0 Option 108: we got it. And it's been great. And, you know, the pandemic was hard. I mean, it was hard. 1230.0-1234.0 Option 108: It was hard because, I mean, my wife was working from home. 1234.0-1241.0 Option 108: I was working, but I was on more contract freelance basis, so I made certain contracts. 1241.0-1255.0 Option 108: But being that he wasn't able to be in school and stuff. So I was I was kind of Mr. Mom for a while and which I had no problem being, it was, you know, there was no barriers or anything. 1255.0-1260.5999755859375 Option 108: You know, and I, you know, we'd go to the beach and we play 1260.5999755859375-1266.3199462890625 Option 108: and we would do all the things and you know we do exercises. I did so many drawings on the 1266.3199462890625-1271.43994140625 Option 108: driveway and we made built so many things out of boxes and every arts and crafts thing you can 1271.43994140625-1272.8800048828125 Option 108: imagine we did it was it was really nice and if I was working. every arts and crafts thing you can imagine, you did. 1272.8800048828125-1274.3199462890625 Option 108: It was really nice. 1274.3199462890625-1277.52001953125 Option 108: And if I was working in my crazy past career, 1277.52001953125-1280.52001953125 Option 108: I would have never been able to spend that molding time within. 1282.3199462890625-1285.0 Option 108: And, you know, and I'm very thankful and fortunate for that. 1288.760009765625-1295.0 Option 108: And that kind of was like a time where everything kind of slowed down a bit, 1295.56005859375-1297.800048828125 Option 108: you know, from like the drinking and everything 1297.800048828125-1300.199951171875 Option 108: that was more responsible and more present. 1305.760009765625-1317.43994140625 Option 108: I mean, we'd still have like a glass of wine at dinner and stuff, but it wasn't like I was, you know, going up to bars and, you know, especially because of the pandemic or anything. But then, you know, during the pandemic and stuff, you know, things just started getting, you know, 1317.43994140625-1320.239990234375 Option 108: stressful and everything. 1320.239990234375-1323.0 Option 108: So I did say, you know, I started drinking a little bit more. 1323.0-1329.0 Option 108: I started working again, working, you know, created some of that anxiety of stress. 1329.0-1335.0 Option 108: So I literally, you know, would drink a little bit just to cope. 1335.0-1341.0 Option 108: And then that kind of went on for a while. 1341.0-1352.0799560546875 Option 108: And then I would say you know 2021 you know to end of 2020 2021 and parts of 1352.0799560546875-1355.0 Option 108: 2020 you know with shuffling work. 1355.47998046875-1356.9200439453125 Option 108: He was starting to go to school, 1356.9200439453125-1360.239990234375 Option 108: so I would have days that I was home all by myself 1360.239990234375-1365.0 Option 108: and, you know, working remotely and drinking, you know, 1365.9200439453125-1368.0799560546875 Option 108: and drinking, you know, at home. 1369.52001953125-1370.9599609375 Option 108: I didn't get from my wife. 1370.9599609375-1373.8399658203125 Option 108: That's when I started to get where I was like, 1373.8399658203125-1375.800048828125 Option 108: I just need this to make me feel better. 1375.800048828125-1377.5999755859375 Option 108: It was like medicine, you know, like, 1377.5999755859375-1381.5999755859375 Option 108: or I'll only drink a pint of vodka or something. 1381.5999755859375-1383.3599853515625 Option 108: And then, you know, 1383.3599853515625-1384.8399658203125 Option 108: and then like my wife would be like, 1384.8399658203125-1387.199951171875 Option 108: all right, I'll pick miles up at school. 1387.199951171875-1389.719970703125 Option 108: And then I'll be like, okay, that gives me the opportunity 1389.719970703125-1396.4000244140625 Option 108: to have another pint or something or another drink. Because I was very, I would, I never, 1396.4000244140625-1401.52001953125 Option 108: that's one thing I would, I never did, just drink when I had to do anything with him. 1401.52001953125-1409.3599853515625 Option 108: Yeah. And that was kind of like a lip mistest, like a thing where I would, like it was my line, 1409.3599853515625-1420.0 Option 108: you know, like, and then, you know, I would say over the last year, you know, I started hiding, hiding, 1420.0-1426.47998046875 Option 108: sneaking, and my wife could tell. I feel like I wasn't as present with both of 1426.47998046875-1430.719970703125 Option 108: them, even though I felt like I was, you know, they could probably see the 1430.719970703125-1433.760009765625 Option 108: difference in me. 1433.760009765625-1438.760009765625 Option 108: And there was a couple of times where there was actually 1438.760009765625-1439.8399658203125 Option 108: two instances. 1439.8399658203125-1444.719970703125 Option 108: One that she got very angry and frustrated with me 1444.719970703125-1447.43994140625 Option 108: because I was obviously drunk when, you know, 1447.43994140625-1450.43994140625 Option 108: we hadn't never a physical application. 1450.43994140625-1452.3199462890625 Option 108: We've never been in his argument. 1452.3199462890625-1456.0799560546875 Option 108: Just argue. And you know, she had said, you know, 1456.0799560546875-1462.47998046875 Option 108: I need to need help or you or I'm going to take miles in your week. And the thought of 1462.47998046875-1475.5999755859375 Option 108: that was devastating to me. So, you know, there was one day I drove to beach and I had a big bottle of vodka and I just started drinking and 1475.5999755859375-1485.4000244140625 Option 108: and getting depressed and singing deeper into a big hole and and I felt like I was like you you know, if they leave me, I had nothing. 1485.4000244140625-1488.5999755859375 Option 108: I've lost so much and I can't afford to lose them. 1488.5999755859375-1494.0 Option 108: So I did have some thoughts just walking into the ocean, 1494.0-1495.280029296875 Option 108: just not coming back. 1495.280029296875-1497.800048828125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: When was that? 1497.800048828125-1506.0 Option 108: That was probably maybe the beginning of 2022. 1506.0-1507.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 1507.0-1508.0 Option 108: So probably. 1508.0-1509.0 BOTH: Yeah. 1509.0-1510.0 BOTH: Okay. 1510.0-1515.0 MIX: Because it was cold. 1516.4000244140625-1528.47998046875 Option 108: But then I called her. She drove and came, picked me up and cried and we talked and you know, and then went home, you know, I'd probably stop drinking for a short period 1528.47998046875-1537.52001953125 Option 108: of time, and then same things started stress and just dealing with daily life and work and everything. 1537.52001953125-1540.8800048828125 Option 108: It just started feeling and I'm like, very well, I rationalized. 1540.8800048828125-1543.8399658203125 Option 108: All right, I'll just have a little bit or I'll just do this. 1544.8800048828125-1549.8399658203125 Option 108: And then that started turning into me, sneaking in and lying about it. And my wife always said, 1549.8399658203125-1553.199951171875 Option 108: you know, it's not the drinking that really bothers me. It's the sneaking around. 1553.199951171875-1555.6800537109375 Option 108: It's the hiding, it's the lying. 1555.6800537109375-1557.9599609375 Option 108: And she couldn't trust me. 1557.9599609375-1561.760009765625 Option 108: Now, looking back, I kind of feel like, again, I understand. 1561.760009765625-1572.0 MIX: Yeah. So, you know, and then just recently about actually two weeks yesterday, 1572.0-1578.5999755859375 Option 108: they had another similar circumstance and I said the next 1578.5999755859375-1586.0 Option 108: morning I woke up and I packed a bag and I said I'm going to go to a hotel and I'm going to try to figure some stuff out. 1586.0-1590.0 Option 108: I'm just going to take the day and sleep over tonight and really think about stuff. 1590.0-1599.8399658203125 Option 108: And I proceeded to drink and you know and I came home and then my wife went out 1599.8399658203125-1602.6400146484375 Option 108: to do stuff pick my son up and do something she had a couple errands and stuff to run stuff, pick my son up and do something. 1602.6400146484375-1604.56005859375 Option 108: She had a couple errands and stuff to run, 1604.56005859375-1607.4000244140625 Option 108: and I just proceeded to get really drunk. 1609.3599853515625-1611.6800537109375 Option 108: And I don't remember a lot of it 1611.6800537109375-1616.6400146484375 Option 108: of that particular time. She's built me in on some of the things, 1617.5999755859375-1624.800048828125 Option 108: but she was very worried about me. I have type one that beanie too, so my blood sugars and everything, like she just worried. 1624.800048828125-1630.1600341796875 Option 108: I wasn't making sense. It wasn't coherent enough. And she called 911. She brought 1630.1600341796875-1633.8800048828125 Option 108: my son to the neighbors, so that he would have seen anything 1633.8800048828125-1636.280029296875 Option 108: with her home so happy and thankful for it. 1637.9599609375-1641.280029296875 Option 108: And then I spent about 12 hours, 1641.280029296875-1644.43994140625 Option 108: so maybe 12 or 13 hours in the hospital. 1645.760009765625-1650.9599609375 Option 108: And I guess the ER and then they brought me to like the psych ward as well. 1663.43994140625-1666.1199951171875 Option 108: And as well. And I don't, I mean, I don't even remember how I got so fucked out that I didn't even remember or anything. I don't know if I took any pills or anything. 1666.1199951171875-1668.0 Option 108: I don't, I don't remember. 1670.719970703125-1677.0 Option 108: But not intentionally to do anything, you know, it was just, I just wasn't in a good place. 1677.0-1687.0 Option 108: And then two weeks ago, Wednesday, they released me from the hospital, went home. 1687.0-1693.6400146484375 Option 108: We had a really long talk and we were looking at different facilities and places for me to go. 1693.6400146484375-1695.5999755859375 Option 108: And we felt like the system was failing us. 1695.5999755859375-1697.3599853515625 Option 108: We went to like five different places. 1697.3599853515625-1702.0 Option 108: And everyone denied us because I had type 1 diabetes 1702.0-1704.199951171875 Option 108: and they couldn't. and so then I just felt 1704.199951171875-1711.5999755859375 Option 108: really lost and even more sad and then they said well maybe we can do outpick our 1711.5999755859375-1715.8800048828125 Option 108: inpatient oh Oh, Abby, no, I was just going to continue. 1715.8800048828125-1717.9200439453125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Yeah, okay. 1717.9200439453125-1720.8800048828125 Option 108: And then even some of those, you know, 1720.8800048828125-1724.6400146484375 Option 108: I looked at some of the places, the ones that were even around us, 1725.52001953125-1734.4000244140625 Option 108: just didn't feel comfortable. There was a little bit of a, just a little place know it was very like hospital-esque. 1734.4000244140625-1737.5999755859375 Option 108: And my experience in the hospital was very, very bad. 1737.5999755859375-1744.9599609375 Option 108: Like, you know, people were, they left me in the hallway on the gurney and like, you know, people are fighting and peeing and somebody 1744.9599609375-1750.800048828125 Option 108: took a don't put right there. And I'm like, I don't belong here. I'm like, honey, please just 1750.800048828125-1754.800048828125 Option 108: come pick me up. Get me out of here. Obviously, they couldn't discharge me until the doctor saw me. 1754.800048828125-1757.280029296875 Option 108: So anyway, it was a very long night. 1758.4000244140625-1765.760009765625 Option 108: And then I haven't had a drink since and I've really seen a huge difference. 1765.760009765625-1767.760009765625 Option 108: My wife's seen the difference in me. 1769.760009765625-1777.199951171875 Option 108: And she's been very supportive throughout my family, my closest friends, everyone is super supportive. 1777.199951171875-1782.0 Option 108: I only reached out to my really closest friends, probably about five or six. 1782.0-1783.3599853515625 Option 108: Did they know you had been struggling with that? closest friends, probably about five or six. 1783.3599853515625-1785.1600341796875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Did they know you had been struggling with that? 1785.1600341796875-1788.3599853515625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Like, is it something you always kept to yourself? 1788.3599853515625-1791.8800048828125 Option 108: I mean, I think all of them, all of my friends, you know, 1791.8800048828125-1815.760009765625 Option 108: they're all pretty good drinkers, but they seem to manage, but I mean, I don't get it, you know, I mean, we all used to party it. I mean, it was never, it was never like nobody really got into trouble, you it was more just like you know we'd go out we'd have you know whiskey you know go drink a lot a couple bottles of wine and you know for a night and you know beers and everything. 1815.760009765625-1827.1199951171875 Option 108: So but the cult. But they yeah it was just that there was that culture and it was fun. It was never a problem that didn't seem like. And, but now, like, 1828.3199462890625-1835.6800537109375 Option 108: now, after telling, you know, everyone kind of sensed that there was something like my wife, you know, and I've seen a big 1835.6800537109375-1845.280029296875 Option 108: difference over the last two weeks of being sober. My son is, my son is like, you know, he cuddles with me like just innate you know it's 1845.280029296875-1850.6800537109375 Option 108: it's different like you just it's just different around me and not really 1850.6800537109375-1860.0 Option 108: knowing anything you know like mean, we waited until I came here yesterday, 1860.0-1863.0 Option 108: and we told him on Friday. 1863.0-1868.0 Option 108: And I was thinking I was going Monday, 1868.0-1870.0 Option 108: but so we told him on Friday, 1870.0-1874.0 Option 108: and then his seventh birthday party we had for him on Saturday. 1874.0-1876.0 Option 108: And they didn't really want to miss that. 1876.0-1878.0 Option 108: I would have felt really bad. 1878.0-1881.0 Option 108: So we decided to push it and his real birthday was Tuesday. 1881.0-1888.800048828125 Option 108: And we had made a big, I got like really good seats close to the court the next game 1888.800048828125-1901.0 Option 108: and Matt Square Garden and we had like the special access pass so we got to go out in the court with when the players were warming up and he got like autographs and he's been really into basketball and we played basketball home. 1901.0-1904.0 Option 108: It turned our kitchen into a basketball area. 1904.0-1907.760009765625 Option 108: Like, we played in the morning, we play at night, 1907.760009765625-1909.43994140625 Option 108: when he gets home from school. 1909.43994140625-1916.56005859375 Option 108: But anyway, so it was that and they put his name up on the Jumbo Trinum as Square Garden and said, 1916.56005859375-1919.8399658203125 Option 108: happy birthday, seventh birthday, and Miles Olson. 1919.8399658203125-1921.5999755859375 Option 108: And I didn't want to miss that. 1921.5999755859375-1925.1199951171875 Option 108: So, and then I, it was like Wednesday, 1925.1199951171875-1926.6400146484375 Option 108: you know, I'm doing really well. 1926.6400146484375-1929.0400390625 Option 108: I didn't go through any, no tremor. 1929.0400390625-1931.4000244140625 Option 108: No tremors, no thrall symptoms. 1933.47998046875-1948.0 Option 108: I think I felt, I know like physical withdrawal symptoms, but obviously like, just, you know, symptoms of, you know, sadness and things like that. 1948.0-1956.6400146484375 MIX: Sleep problems and things like that, but also just like a little bit of a little bit of shame and a little bit of guilt and 1957.199951171875-1967.0400390625 Option 108: then you know some reflection time that I had by myself. I would take walks around or do my circle. So I would do walks outside and 1967.0400390625-1985.0 Option 108: things like that. But you know, it also felt when they weren't around, you know, I was lonely, you know, felt the loneliness. I wasn't lonely because they were always there very supportive. You know, it hurt me a little bit. My wife didn't trust me at that point, which was understandable. 1985.0-1992.0 Option 108: So she took my wallet and wouldn't let me go to the store in case they stopped at the liquor store. 1992.0-1995.0 Option 108: But then liquor store. But then probably, 1995.0-1998.0 Option 108: towards the end of the two weeks, 1998.0-2001.0 Option 108: probably three or four days before I came here, 2001.0-2003.43994140625 Option 108: I felt good. I felt the, I felt good. 2003.43994140625-2005.56005859375 Option 108: I felt the best I felt in years. 2005.56005859375-2009.6800537109375 Option 108: And when we talked and she's like, you're OK, 2009.6800537109375-2010.56005859375 Option 108: and I'm like, OK. 2010.56005859375-2016.719970703125 Option 108: And I was able to go to the store and do that and do some tasks not feel like I was in prison or 2016.719970703125-2022.239990234375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: right. I hope your cravings been cool. Are you thinking about alcohol dreaming about it? 2022.239990234375-2024.800048828125 Option 108: Just feeling like oh you know it would be good right now is a 2025.5999755859375-2030.9599609375 MIX: bathroom or whatever, like thinking about it a lot. The cravings that have aren't just 2030.9599609375-2034.6400146484375 Option 108: not, it's not like the cravings of like I need the alcohol like I used to 2034.6400146484375-2041.0400390625 Option 108: feel like I used to feel like in the in the morning I would feel like I need I 2041.0400390625-2047.0 Option 108: need it like medicine you know like because it equaled me out and made me feel good and I was able to function. 2047.0-2050.0 Option 108: I mean I know the term functioning alcohol. 2050.0-2054.0 MIX: But what time would you start drinking? 2054.0-2056.0 Option 108: How early in the day? 2056.0-2059.0 Option 108: Sometimes it's 10 in the morning. 2059.0-2065.0 Option 108: But it would only be like, like I said, you know, I would be like, all right, I just need like a pint or something. 2065.0-2069.0 Option 108: And then I was keen to go on with my day and do my tasks. 2069.0-2079.0 Option 108: And then later in the day, I would be like, oh, okay, what kind of started to come down and then cycle, cycle, cycle, cycle. 2079.0-2085.39990234375 MIX: So, I'm sorry, I interrupted you. You're talking about your cravings or thinking about. 2085.39990234375-2095.0 Option 108: Oh, yeah, so cravings, you know, I think what I think I miss the most is the social ability of things. 2096.719970703125-2099.719970703125 Option 108: I mean, I've always been a very big social drinker. 2100.919921875-2104.159912109375 Option 108: I like, you know, sitting around the fire pit. 2104.159912109375-2107.43994140625 Option 108: And, you know, I like to, I would really like to cook a lot. 2107.43994140625-2110.679931640625 Option 108: So, you know, we have a fire pit in the back. 2110.679931640625-2112.0 Option 108: We have a fireplace in our house. 2112.0-2114.39990234375 Option 108: And like, I love to sit and have a cocktail 2114.9599609375-2119.280029296875 Option 108: when there's a fire you're under blanket and you know like those things not like I want to get 2119.280029296875-2127.760009765625 Option 108: hammered and I want to escape from something it's more more like I miss those moments rather than me craving now call. 2127.760009765625-2137.60009765625 Option 108: So I just miss, I probably miss the moments that those memories that I have that were good, even though I was drinking, it was good and 2138.280029296875-2145.0 Option 108: comforting and warm and fun and everything, you know, it's the negative times, 2145.320068359375-2149.39990234375 Option 108: the hiding, lying, sneaking, and feeling like, you know, 2149.39990234375-2152.199951171875 Option 108: guilty and shame and all those bad things. 2152.199951171875-2154.47998046875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Well, that's what the cravings can really do. You remember all those 2154.47998046875-2160.080078125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: great times that you felt like you had with alcohol. You forget all the tough things. Yes, 2160.080078125-2162.5 Dr. Courtney Chellew: or you know your brain's not really thinking about that as much. 2162.5-2173.0 Option 108: Yeah, and I would hide, you know, I mean, I definitely suppressed all, like, all the tragedies that I went through, like I don't think I've ever, 100% dealt with all of them. 2175.0-2180.0 Option 108: Obviously, you know, masking it and hiding it through substances, 2181.0-2183.199951171875 Option 108: you know, it gets you through to the next day. 2183.199951171875-2184.199951171875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Right. 2184.199951171875-2187.199951171875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Self-medication kind of also. 2187.199951171875-2188.199951171875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 2188.199951171875-2189.60009765625 Option 108: I know that was a lot. 2189.60009765625-2190.60009765625 BOTH: No, that's great. 2190.60009765625-2202.0 MIX: So yeah, I know you said you went to therapy in 2009. Have you ever been admitted to an inpatient facility or else. My first test is the plantation and outpatient. Really, any kind of rehab or any. 2202.0-2204.639892578125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How are you feeling now that you're here and 2204.639892578125-2208.800048828125 Option 108: know you're away from your family and I think that's that's the hardest part. Yeah, 2208.800048828125-2216.679931640625 Option 108: from them especially because I you know I had stopped drinking two weeks ago and the last two weeks I feel so much 2216.679931640625-2217.679931640625 Option 108: clearer. 2217.679931640625-2225.280029296875 Option 108: Like, I would be able to talk with you like this probably, like last two weeks ago. Like if I came right the Monday after I was 2225.280029296875-2231.239990234375 Option 108: after I got out of the hospital like I wouldn't be the same person and I'm kind 2231.239990234375-2235.0 Option 108: of glad that I got to do that in their family not to see me. 2235.0-2240.0 Option 108: The way that they should see me and the way that they deserve to see me. 2240.0-2243.1201171875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What's your longest period of sobriety? 2243.1201171875-2244.52001953125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Have you had periods? 2244.52001953125-2246.0 Option 108: This is probably the longest. 2246.0-2249.56005859375 Option 108: Although I will say when I went to Alaska, I trained, 2249.56005859375-2255.0 Option 108: and it was probably about four months, probably four months, 2255.52001953125-2257.639892578125 Option 108: it's the longest because I didn't smoke, 2257.639892578125-2260.840087890625 Option 108: I didn't drink it, you know, it's very, very healthy. 2265.199951171875-2267.39990234375 Option 108: And then obviously when I was in Alaska I did. Although when we got back from the trip, 2267.39990234375-2270.56005859375 Option 108: there's like one bar in this tiny little town in Alaska 2270.56005859375-2274.0 Option 108: where we get where we get off the plane and stuff like that. 2274.0-2279.0 Option 108: And you know, we had a couple of beers and stuff there, but nothing like it was great, you know, it was right. 2279.0-2284.159912109375 Option 108: It was like our whole crew and like, you know, everyone out all the guys and other things. 2284.159912109375-2286.760009765625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And do you smoke or use marijuana, 2286.760009765625-2288.360107421875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: anything on those lines or have you? 2288.360107421875-2291.60009765625 MIX: I don't use any other drugs, just alcohol. 2291.60009765625-2298.0 Option 108: I did smoke on and off for a while, especially during some of those periods. 2298.0-2300.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Tobacco or marijuana. 2300.0-2302.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 2302.0-2308.0 Option 108: And I smoked to smoke quite a bit of weed in college and stuff, but I didn't really like it that much. 2308.0-2313.360107421875 Option 108: I didn't like the not not being controlled as much sometimes. 2313.360107421875-2316.719970703125 Option 108: Especially, I mean, I didn't mind it when I was younger. 2316.719970703125-2318.840087890625 Option 108: But like, I got older, like the control thing, 2318.840087890625-2320.52001953125 Option 108: I just didn't like it. 2320.52001953125-2334.280029296875 MIX: Okay, so you kind of went to alcohol pretty and you know, okay. So you've had periodic use of nicotine. Yeah, pretty much. And then obviously during the pandemic and things like that, I started smoking again. 2334.280029296875-2338.080078125 Option 108: And not a lot, I probably smoke maybe a pack of weeks. 2338.080078125-2340.60009765625 Option 108: I didn't want to smoke while I was here, 2340.60009765625-2344.320068359375 Option 108: but I feel like I need something a little bit. 2344.320068359375-2346.080078125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And no, I did start? 2346.080078125-2348.43994140625 Option 108: I did it a little bit. 2348.43994140625-2349.199951171875 Option 108: I'll try. 2349.199951171875-2350.679931640625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Focus, I would just say, you know, 2350.679931640625-2361.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: like it sounds like you've really kind of made the commitment to focusing on like a healthy life, like you're not drinking anymore, you said you feel more clarity, you feel better physically. 2361.0-2377.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: I know it's hard because a lot of people got to smoke between breaks and things like that, but now you should if you want to go outside, just walk around the building, you know, don't don't let being here also make you more likely. 2377.0-2382.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: No, I don't, and I'm not a follower, so it's not like, right. 2382.0-2388.239990234375 Option 108: It's more just like, you know, you know, this is a new thing for me. 2388.239990234375-2397.0 Option 108: There's a lot of new things that kind of, you know, it's released a little bit, you know, where I, you know, 2397.0-2406.800048828125 Option 108: I don't necessarily even like it that much anymore, but it does make me, it does I don't have alcohol 2406.800048828125-2411.60009765625 Option 108: or anything else and it feels like it's like a tiny little escape. 2411.60009765625-2418.639892578125 MIX: Yeah, okay. And I don't like vaping or anything like that. Okay. I don't really feel 2418.639892578125-2423.0 Option 108: like I need it like, like I don't go through like to continue with drool. 2423.0-2424.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: You don't. 2424.0-2428.0 Option 108: But it, but, you know, sitting there like, 2428.0-2431.0 Option 108: thinking, looking up in the sky, looking out, 2431.0-2438.8798828125 Option 108: like it does, it does, so, calm me down and make me probably temporary just like everything else. 2438.8798828125-2443.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Have you ever been to like AA or any treatment? 2443.0-2466.8798828125 MIX: Before all this, before like the week before the hospital, I went to two AA meetings. One of the one was at a church by our house and the door was locked. It was only one car in a parking lot. And I sat there in the car for a little bit and I said I just can't 2466.8798828125-2480.719970703125 Option 108: I'm not going to do this that I went to another place after that and I pulled in and some of the people that I saw 2480.719970703125-2485.1201171875 Option 108: walking in I was like these are not my people like this. I 2485.1201171875-2489.199951171875 Option 108: wouldn't feel I wouldn't get anything out of this. Like I, you know, it looked so 2489.199951171875-2495.0 Option 108: strong out and like everything was just, and just like I feel that, 2495.679931640625-2497.919921875 Option 108: and not to be like prejudiced or anything like that, 2497.919921875-2501.719970703125 Option 108: but it's just like some of these people were just like 2501.719970703125-2514.0 Option 108: they're just slavonly dressed and like just like I mean I feel bad for them but like I just don't know and maybe maybe it was me just putting up another excuse not to go in. 2514.0-2515.840087890625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Well, I will tell you different home groups 2515.840087890625-2517.39990234375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: have kind of a different feel. 2517.39990234375-2519.52001953125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: I mean, you have to sometimes try to find 2519.52001953125-2521.52001953125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: like a home group that like fits you. 2521.52001953125-2534.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Like there are certainly home groups where it's like lots of professionals like you know physicians lawyers teacher like people that really, you know, work and have. And then there are some home groups where people are much less functional. 2534.0-2539.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: But I would just say don't let that negative experience kind of generalize to all of you. 2539.0-2543.1201171875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: No, I mean, like there, there are really good home groups, I think, 2543.1201171875-2546.60009765625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: that maybe you would feel like, you know, 2546.60009765625-2547.800048828125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: like a little bit more connected 2547.800048828125-2549.39990234375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: with some of the other people. 2549.39990234375-2553.280029296875 Option 108: Yeah, I, and where I live in Connecticut, 2553.280029296875-2556.39990234375 Option 108: since Fairfield, it seems very like, 2556.39990234375-2558.679931640625 Option 108: it's a nice name, like a good name. 2560.080078125-2565.0 Option 108: But I also do see a psychologist. 2565.0-2567.840087890625 Option 108: It's all remote, obviously since the pandemic, 2567.840087890625-2569.719970703125 Option 108: but it's been about two and a half years. 2569.719970703125-2571.679931640625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay, and what's their name? 2571.679931640625-2575.60009765625 Option 108: His name is, his name is Chip Gibson. 2575.60009765625-2576.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 2576.0-2577.199951171875 Option 108: Well, that's his nickname. 2577.199951171875-2579.159912109375 Option 108: I think he's, do you need this real name? 2579.159912109375-2580.39990234375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: I mean, yes. 2580.39990234375-2584.39990234375 Option 108: I think he said it to me as he said to that, because I told him about all this. 2584.39990234375-2585.800048828125 Option 108: So he knows you're here. 2585.800048828125-2586.800048828125 BOTH: Yes. 2586.800048828125-2589.800048828125 Option 108: Okay. And we're not talking obviously during. 2589.800048828125-2596.39990234375 Option 108: But we'll re-keep, we'll reconnect reconnect after because I did enjoy and he's heard all the stories 2596.39990234375-2603.360107421875 Option 108: You know he knows everything. I don't know if I was a hundred percent 100 percent honest with them all the time. 2603.360107421875-2609.360107421875 Option 108: I mean, there was sometimes when I would talk with him and we had talked about drinking 2609.360107421875-2616.0 Option 108: and not drinking and stopping and everything and there was times when I would talk to him and I would be drinking while talking to him. 2616.0-2621.0 Option 108: I see. So there were those times and those were the times but I said no I'm not drinking you know. 2621.0-2627.0 MIX: That's typical, okay. But you said for two years. Yeah, for two years. 2627.0-2633.679931640625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Um, maybe at 2021. 2634.0-2636.239990234375 NA: Okay. 2638.080078125-2639.43994140625 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So three years, that, 2020. 20, 20, 10. 2640.52001953125-2641.919921875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And you meet weekly? 2646.0-2648.0 Option 108: Usually every Wednesday for like 45 minutes. Okay. 2648.0-2649.0 Option 108: 615. 2649.0-2655.0 Option 108: His name is F. Swift, Gibson, PhD, but it goes by a chip. 2656.39990234375-2657.9599609375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: F. Swift, Gibson, PhD. 2657.9599609375-2659.639892578125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay, and what kind of, I mean, was this like? 2659.639892578125-2660.719970703125 Option 108: Clinical psychology. 2660.719970703125-2661.719970703125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 2661.719970703125-2664.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Were you doing like cognitive behavioral therapy or was there? 2664.0-2670.39990234375 MIX: It was due. We talked about kind of behavioral therapy. Yeah, therapy and 2670.39990234375-2675.39990234375 Option 108: you know we talked about meditation and you'd give me certain tools and like I 2675.39990234375-2679.919921875 Option 108: bought a punching bag to get rid of anxiety you know imagine all the things 2679.919921875-2685.919921875 Option 108: that made me mad and I would get the punching bag and we'd call like the stress and anxiety 2685.919921875-2691.280029296875 Option 108: called get rid of the gunk he made up this word I don't know if it's a word but get rid of 2691.280029296875-2694.800048828125 Option 108: the gunk and like you you know, like when I started feeling stressed, like 2694.800048828125-2699.919921875 Option 108: stand in the shower after you clean yourself, just stand there with your arms down, not like this, 2699.919921875-2704.719970703125 Option 108: but arms down and just kind of like feel like you're getting rid of all of those stuff. 2704.719970703125-2717.280029296875 Option 108: So he definitely gave me tools and I definitely listened and I definitely, you know, tried them and it did help, you know, and I, you know, every night I would do, you know, some meditation and 2717.280029296875-2727.679931640625 Option 108: even while I was drinking, I would still go and have trouble sleeping, so I did like, I mean, the sound machines like with, you know, different sounds. 2727.679931640625-2734.639892578125 Option 108: And then I I use the calm that does the actual people speaking. 2734.639892578125-2738.919921875 Option 108: You'll go through your body scan and you're doing the whole thing from your toes from 2738.919921875-2747.0400390625 Option 108: one leg to the toes and your fingers to your neck. And I found that that was very helpful it definitely was helpful. 2747.360107421875-2753.280029296875 Option 108: Okay. So I did I was trying but not trying, you know what I mean? 2753.280029296875-2757.280029296875 Option 108: Right. I was putting a band-aid on something that was much bigger. 2757.280029296875-2765.800048828125 MIX: It's really about like focusing on the sobriety too. But I think the sobriety, the depression, anxiety, stress, I mean stress is always going 2765.800048828125-2770.52001953125 Option 108: to come with a career, the job and everything world that I work in, but there's got, you 2770.52001953125-2775.360107421875 Option 108: know, I'm looking for the tools that can alleviate that you know you see 2775.360107421875-2784.639892578125 Option 108: meant you know the the body and exercise and everything like if there's a pyramid, that's both the bottom. 2784.639892578125-2786.199951171875 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Take care of yourself, I agree. 2786.199951171875-2788.8798828125 Option 108: And then the middle would be the people that I love 2788.8798828125-2790.52001953125 Option 108: and the people that are around me. 2790.52001953125-2797.719970703125 Option 108: And then the top part of the pyramid would be myself, me, all the gap. So I always draw 2797.719970703125-2803.760009765625 Option 108: that pyramid and look at that and to try to think how I can do that. 2803.760009765625-2806.56005859375 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So are you exercising and things? 2806.56005859375-2811.320068359375 Option 108: Yeah, I mean, again, like everyone else in January 2811.320068359375-2816.639892578125 Option 108: after New Year's. But I did join a gym and I was doing it very, very, 2816.639892578125-2828.0 Option 108: most every day. Good. Okay. We have a call time at home, so I did a lot of palatine classes and things like that. 2828.0-2834.0 Option 108: And I would go on, you know, some hikes and things like that. 2834.0-2835.0 BOTH: When were you- 2835.0-2839.0 Option 108: I didn't, I obviously never drank or anything like that when I was hiking, obviously, but, 2839.0-2844.199951171875 Option 108: you know, and then training for the AT trip was pretty intense. 2844.199951171875-2850.760009765625 Option 108: So I definitely did a lot of exercise that worked for on my core and everything and just 2850.760009765625-2851.760009765625 Option 108: everything. 2851.760009765625-2854.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: And when were you diagnosed with diabetes? 2854.0-2858.0 Option 108: Probably 28 years ago. 2858.0-2860.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: 28 years ago. 2860.0-2862.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So do you have a pump or? 2862.0-2863.0 Option 108: I don't. How do you have a pump or? I don't. 2863.0-2864.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: How do you manage them? 2864.0-2870.0 Option 108: I manage it with, I know who are the young Atlantis. 2870.0-2873.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So you do like a sliding scale or a certain amount of units. 2873.0-2879.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Um, it's funny you say that because those are some of the questions that they asked me about. 2879.0-2882.0 Option 108: And I did a sliding scale 28, 7 years ago. 2882.0-2887.919921875 Option 108: Um, but over the last 20 some years like I've learned my body and I know 2887.919921875-2897.0 MIX: exactly what to do. What's your name to go with anyone see? But it's anywhere between six, five, and seven. 2897.0-2898.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Okay. 2898.0-2899.0 Option 108: So it's always been good. 2899.0-2904.080078125 Option 108: I will say I have a little bit of perfectionism. 2904.080078125-2908.280029296875 Option 108: So once I got diagnosed, I kind of turned me into, 2908.280029296875-2911.8798828125 Option 108: not a game, but like a, I got this kind of thing. 2919.0-2920.0 Option 108: The odd thing about it is my younger brother has Type 1 as well. He's on the pub. 2920.0-2926.239990234375 Option 108: But he's, he's, and I can do a case, they could probably do a case study of my family. 2926.239990234375-2937.0 Option 108: But my stepdad and my mom had a son, and that's my brother. So, he's my half-brother, but he came from the same room. 2937.0-2941.0 Option 108: Yeah, and I have probably the closest relationship with them over my sister as well. 2941.0-2954.239990234375 Option 108: Do you have a full sister? Yeah, yeah, me and my sister was always the alpha of the family, mother and daughter never really got along. I was always the boy with the mama boy, you know. 2954.239990234375-2958.639892578125 Option 108: And me and my brother are very similar in that aspect. 2958.639892578125-2970.9599609375 Option 108: But anyway, he got diagnosed, I think when he was maybe 20, 19, but so late out of death. And but my, it ran 2970.9599609375-2973.360107421875 Option 108: and my stepdad's side of the family. 2973.360107421875-2977.360107421875 Option 108: Type one is my, my stepdad sister had type one. 2978.239990234375-2979.840087890625 Option 108: Two of his sisters had type one. 2981.43994140625-2983.0 Option 108: One of them died because of it. 2983.0-2987.0 Option 108: She was a very time compliant question. 2987.0-3000.080078125 Option 108: But then my sister, she got married, had a daughter and her ex-husband now but her ex-husband, Type 1 ran in his side 3000.080078125-3007.199951171875 Option 108: of the family, but my niece has that one. But the only connected tissue that I can think of 3008.0-3016.0 Option 108: that connects all three of us is my mom. I don't like to say that to my mom, but I think it's an autoimmune, I mean, I 3016.0-3025.919921875 Option 108: know what diabetes is, it's an auto immune kind of sees. And she has, she had, she had vitilago, which is another one I don't mean. 3025.919921875-3031.280029296875 Option 108: So we always think that there's part of it, you know, in that. 3031.280029296875-3036.639892578125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: What other medical problems do you have like? That's about it. No high blood pressure, 3036.639892578125-3054.60009765625 MIX: belly problems. So I have, I mean, I, they do, they did recently, I was because of drinking things like that, my blood pressure probably was higher, little higher than normal, but they had given me some medication, which I haven't taken over the last three weeks because I wanted to have nothing in my 3054.60009765625-3058.39990234375 MIX: system. Your blood pressure has been good or what? I think I don't know what 3058.39990234375-3064.0 Option 108: they what it was when they took it here. I did bring all the medical information, 3064.0-3066.0 Option 108: the blood, all that stuff that, 3066.0-3068.0 Option 108: that they did when I got admitted. 3068.0-3070.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Oh, good. I'd like to see that. 3070.0-3075.0 Option 108: Yeah, I don't know where it is right now. I think I think it might be still in my bag. 3075.0-3078.0 Dr. Courtney Chellew: So the life set up earlier, you're not taking that now. 3078.0-3085.360107421875 MIX: I'm not saying. I mean, I was taking some of those, but that, but I haven't in like threethree weeks so how about the MF result for your belly? 3086.719970703125-3089.60009765625 Option 108: I haven't been taking that either but I to be honest by heart 3089.60009765625-3104.39990234375 Option 108: for now for now for now drinking for two weeks I feel like it's not really there. And I eat really healthy like that, like I said, I'm a perfectioness, but I like to try to eat healthy, but it's a little bit, a little hard here. I mean, I've only been here one day, but you know, they have, 3105.840087890625-3115.0 Option 108: you know, it was Chinese food, like I just can't do that stuff. I did and my sugars were, you know, little high so I had a cover after. 3115.52001953125-3117.080078125 Dr. Courtney Chellew: Talk to them at the kitchen. 3117.080078125-3119.56005859375 MIX: Yeah, they have to have to bowl wheat stuff. 3119.56005859375-3122.39990234375 Option 108: Like it's like, like they have today is like hot dogs 3122.39990234375-3127.0400390625 Option 108: and hamburgers and like white bread for me is like I can cover 3127.0400390625-3136.639892578125 MIX: on all but I get like cloudy because my sugars would go from my sugars will go from 120 to like 300. No there's no reason that should happen here. So talk to them at the end 3137.43994140625-3145.199951171875 DCC: and talk about the importance of having options that are healthy. I mean, I mean, I eat a lot of salads, so I'm glad they have a salad bar. 3145.199951171875-3146.199951171875 DCC: They do. 3146.199951171875-3148.199951171875 DCC: Are you on the atorbostat in? 3148.199951171875-3159.199951171875 DCC: I was, for a while, I was pretty religious about taking it and then I got a colonoscopy 3159.199951171875-3165.0 DCC: and before my surgery the doctor told me not to take that. 3165.0-3168.0 DCC: So I did it, and then I don't think I've taken it since. 3168.0-3169.0 DCC: I don't know. 3169.0-3171.0 DCC: What's your cholesterol? 3171.0-3172.0 DCC: I don't even know. 3172.0-3174.0 DCC: I mean, I'm sure it's in their documents somewhere. 3174.0-3175.0 DCC: Okay. 3175.0-3180.0 DCC: Do you want to say that it wasn't like, it wasn't like, it wasn't like, it wasn't like dangerous thing on it. 3180.0-3182.0 DCC: But do you want to continue that way you're here? 3182.0-3183.0 DCC: Should I store it? 3183.0-3187.0 DCC: I mean, if I could do it, I think it would be good. 3187.0-3197.0 DCC: Because I think at this point, like, I think when I would take some of those while I was drinking, it would definitely mess me up a little bit. 3197.0-3202.0 DCC: Like you asked about stomach, like I would have some stomach issues and things like that. 3202.0-3205.280029296875 DCC: And then sometimes I would, you know, 3205.280029296875-3207.47998046875 DCC: I overthink and get in my own head a lot. 3208.9599609375-3211.840087890625 DCC: Just because that's nature of who I am. 3211.840087890625-3216.0 DCC: But, you know, sometimes I I'm like where's my liver like and then I would think 3216.0-3221.1201171875 DCC: about those things and then I'm like then it would stress me out and like if you know then the 3221.1201171875-3234.320068359375 DCC: stress and anxiety would almost make me like feel gag like a gag like I would gag and like and I mean ever since I was young though I've always had this thing with like adrenaline and excitement, like 3234.320068359375-3238.0 DCC: before my, before sporting events in high school, like everything, like I would 3238.0-3246.47998046875 DCC: throw up. Like I would, I would get excited and I would get excited and throw up and like or gag and throw out like if anything 3247.52001953125-3254.679931640625 DCC: You know crazy happens and it's like a stressful moment. I'll start to like feel this gang reflex and everything like that. Okay. 3254.679931640625-3258.60009765625 DCC: My brother has the same thing so we kind of chalked it up as being just brothers 3258.60009765625-3268.0 DCC: and having like diabetes or something but I told my doctors about it, but again, just not being probably 100% honest with the drinking. 3268.0-3276.9599609375 DCC: So, well, I think it's a good idea to maybe continue that, at least you're on a very low dose of it. So and then you're also on 3278.0-3284.719970703125 DCC: all the insulins like you know your Novilog and all that stuff obviously continue that. And then you're on Lexapro. When did that get started? 3287.0400390625-3292.679931640625 DCC: 10 milligrams, correct? LexiPro? Am I in Lexapro? As the talent? 3292.679931640625-3294.679931640625 DCC: Oh yeah, yeah, that was for the anxiety. 3294.679931640625-3296.080078125 DCC: When was that started? 3296.080078125-3298.199951171875 DCC: That started about two years ago. 3298.199951171875-3301.679931640625 DCC: Okay, but I again, like, I would take it like if I was getting very, 3301.679931640625-3318.0 DCC: like I started to feel that like close up and it kind of thing I would take it instead of taking it every day which is not the way it should do it was supposed to take it every day so it works but again those kind of things, you know, combined with drinking, it made me, it got, 3318.0-3325.60009765625 DCC: either got me drunk quicker or maybe like brain functioning correctly, and it was not a lot of big dosage or anything. 3327.43994140625-3332.47998046875 DCC: Have you been taking it recently? I haven't taken it and probably about. How are you saying 3332.47998046875-3337.60009765625 DCC: about that day, I will say that when I said, like when I got 3337.60009765625-3344.0 DCC: into the hospital, I could have taken a couple of those that day, but I don't, I don't really remember. 3344.0-3347.0 DCC: How do you feel about being back on that? 3347.0-3352.0 DCC: I just, I just think I know that there's, I know I'm saying I have an alcohol problem. 3352.0-3354.56005859375 DCC: I know that I have stress, anxiety, depression. 3355.1201171875-3359.1201171875 DCC: So there's the mental aspects, mental health aspects of that. I know they're intertwined with 3359.1201171875-3367.52001953125 DCC: each other, but I don't know like, if I have a chemical imbalance for any kind of like mental like chemical 3367.52001953125-3375.280029296875 DCC: imbalance in my head that it triggers certain things. I just don't know because I don't think I've ever had given 3375.280029296875-3386.0 DCC: that medication a chance to to do what it's supposed to do other than possibly take the edge off when I'm drinking. 3386.0-3389.0 DCC: Never taken it while so far, essentially. 3389.0-3391.0 DCC: I don't think I've ever taken it off. 3391.0-3396.8798828125 DCC: I mean, because it's only been, you know, I mean, there's there's been days where I haven't, right? 3396.8798828125-3406.800048828125 DCC: But like for a long period. But for a long period, it's never, it's always been. Okay. So, um, do you want to re-initiate that now? 3406.800048828125-3409.60009765625 DCC: You know, it is used to treat anxiety, depression. 3409.60009765625-3417.0 DCC: I don't know what your thoughts are about starting that at the same time as you're working on your sobriety. 3417.0-3420.0 DCC: I mean, it might not be a bad idea to consider. 3420.0-3425.0400390625 DCC: I would like to try something. I don't know if that medication's right or I don't know what 3425.0400390625-3430.239990234375 DCC: medications right. I mean, I'd leave it to the doctors or the mute yourself and like to figure out 3430.239990234375-3436.0 DCC: after hearing everything that I pretty much spilled out of my mouth right now. 3436.0-3447.43994140625 DCC: But I just, I do, I mean, I'm conscious of obviously my body because of diabetes and also just, mean I eat pretty healthy you know I'm not 3447.43994140625-3451.719970703125 DCC: overweight I think some of this is going to probably disappear as well no with 3451.719970703125-3456.0 DCC: not drinking but I'm not, you know, with not drinking. But I'm not like, you know, yeah, of course. 3456.0-3478.320068359375 DCC: But, I mean, ideally, I just, mentally, I just want to feel like, I mean, I feel so much better over the last two weeks and I think a lot of it also is, I mean, I feel sad now because I'm not with my family, but it also opened my eyes a lot, you know, to see how much I probably heard them and 3478.320068359375-3481.760009765625 DCC: just been not present with them. 3481.760009765625-3486.0 DCC: But the last two weeks have been probably some of the best in a lot of times. 3486.0-3494.0 DCC: I just wanted to get happy and healthy again and just have a happy, you know, good life. 3494.0-3501.0 DCC: You know, and I, you know, I talked about coming, coming here and like missing out on certain things 3501.0-3505.800048828125 DCC: and it's like, you know, me and my wife, we have talks left every 3505.800048828125-3511.8798828125 DCC: night, last couple weeks, and, you know, it's a matter of missing, you know, a couple 3511.8798828125-3518.0 DCC: of little minor things and making all the next 40 years, you know, better. 3518.8798828125-3521.43994140625 DCC: How are you doing accepting the fact that you should not drink? 3529.0-3554.0 DCC: Um, like they have a thing in AA, like one syrup pickle, you can no longer be a cucumber. Because a lot of times people will start kind of fantasizing about like being able to just like have that drink by the fire and it won't get into that like the door won't open where then they start going overboard again. I think I mean mean, I'm smart, educated person and I, you know, I understand a lot of things, but that doesn't mean, you know, mentally. 3554.0-3555.0 DCC: Right. 3555.0-3556.0 DCC: So we can rationally know. 3556.0-3560.0 DCC: I'm very rational and understand a lot of the stuff. 3560.0-3564.0 DCC: But like to apply it and everything is a whole different different animal. 3564.0-3568.0 DCC: And we've talked about that. I've talked about a little by wife and I'm like, 3568.0-3575.0 DCC: I'm not ready to even, you know, talk about or think about those ideas yet. 3575.47998046875-3579.919921875 DCC: But maybe there is a time in the future when I feel, 3579.919921875-3592.60009765625 DCC: you know, I don't think I'll ever go back to where I'm sneaking or doing that, but it will be times when, you know, at a long time from now, I think I need to really give myself a chance. 3594.719970703125-3597.239990234375 DCC: But, you know, I mean, there could be a day down in the future 3597.239990234375-3601.43994140625 DCC: that I could socially have a glass of wine or something. 3610.800048828125-3612.719970703125 DCC: You know, there's a lot of mock tails and non-alcoholic, etc. I've worked on a couple of the brands already. 3612.719970703125-3613.360107421875 DCC: You know about that. 3613.360107421875-3614.52001953125 DCC: I started, yep. 3614.52001953125-3621.360107421875 DCC: And, um, and, I mean, obviously, they're not as good, but like, you know, St. 3621.360107421875-3622.9599609375 DCC: Patty's Day is going to be coming up and 3622.9599609375-3625.43994140625 DCC: the Irish and always a big thing. 3625.43994140625-3629.43994140625 DCC: But Guinness just came out with zero alcohol pipe or Guinness. 3629.43994140625-3633.360107421875 DCC: So I'll probably have one of those on St. Patty's Day. 3633.360107421875-3636.39990234375 DCC: It'll usually do like a big thing in our neighborhood. 3636.39990234375-3639.080078125 DCC: So I'll just get some of those. 3639.080078125-3641.800048828125 DCC: And sometimes it'll also just feel like I'm still, 3641.800048828125-3656.0 DCC: that's why I didn't want to tell a lot of people because people have a way of saying, oh, I'm sorry, and they can miss and then, and then they treat you differently and, you know, even though that they got their own shit, you know, everybody has shit. 3656.0-3666.8798828125 DCC: And, you know, I saw something the other day and it was like, the lady was sitting in a parking parking lot drinking a whole bottle of wine 3667.760009765625-3685.0 DCC: and she's, you know, considered a drunk or an alcoholic. And then there's a lady who goes through a vineyard and drinks a whole bottle of wine and tastings and things like that with cheese and crackers and she's, she's, you know, deemed elegant, sophisticated. 3686.0-3687.47998046875 DCC: And it's the same thing. 3687.47998046875-3691.8798828125 DCC: It's just, you know, it's either you can handle it doing it 3691.8798828125-3692.60009765625 DCC: and that, it in that. 3692.60009765625-3695.679931640625 DCC: And maybe that person's just as worked up as this person. 3695.679931640625-3697.639892578125 DCC: It's just that this person's hiding, sneaking, 3697.639892578125-3700.199951171875 DCC: and doing things in the parking lot rooms, 3700.199951171875-3701.60009765625 DCC: and out about and showing. 3701.60009765625-3704.43994140625 DCC: So I just found it interesting that correlation, 3704.43994140625-3706.840087890625 DCC: the same kind of amount. 3708.0-3709.0 DCC: Right, it's not always- 3709.0-3713.0 DCC: The way perception is much different. 3713.0-3715.43994140625 DCC: I wouldn't say it's always necessarily just the amount 3715.43994140625-3718.60009765625 DCC: there can be people that really feel like it's like, 3718.60009765625-3720.0 DCC: are you losing control? 3720.0-3721.360107421875 DCC: Are you drinking more than you want? 3721.360107421875-3723.56005859375 DCC: Are you, you know, are your friends or family saying 3723.56005859375-3724.919921875 DCC: that you should really be cutting back? 3724.919921875-3725.9599609375 DCC: Are they getting annoyed at you? 3725.9599609375-3727.159912109375 DCC: Are you getting annoyed with them? 3727.159912109375-3729.080078125 DCC: Because they're telling you should stop drinking 3729.080078125-3730.639892578125 DCC: or drinking alone or day drink. 3730.639892578125-3732.639892578125 DCC: You know, I think it's a more of a whole picture kind of thing. 3734.800048828125-3738.719970703125 DCC: So I mean, I think maybe going back on the Lexapro might be a good idea for you because we know you 3738.719970703125-3742.800048828125 DCC: tolerate it, okay, like you're, you don't have some terrible side effect from it. 3743.199951171875-3746.9599609375 DCC: And it really does address both like anxiety and depressive issues. 3747.360107421875-3751.52001953125 DCC: Um, and that's something that would take every morning or correct. 3751.639892578125-3755.280029296875 DCC: Every, every morning, every day. Every day. With breakfast, do you should eat 3755.280029296875-3759.199951171875 DCC: out? I'm sure you do because of your diabetes. You eat that morning. Yes. Generally. 3759.199951171875-3762.679931640625 DCC: Sometimes I would, I eat like those sometimes. It's fine. Yeah. 3762.679931640625-3763.8798828125 DCC: So did you have a little something? 3763.8798828125-3767.080078125 DCC: A egg, a hard boiled egg, I used, you know, 3767.080078125-3768.52001953125 DCC: breakthrough or something. 3768.52001953125-3771.639892578125 DCC: Although this morning, I was like, I wanted some cereal 3771.639892578125-3774.239990234375 DCC: and they want cinnamon toast brunch and alphabets and stuff. 3774.239990234375-3776.0 DCC: So I ate them and toast crunch with my certicle. 3777.199951171875-3780.239990234375 DCC: Right, so just talk to the kitchen. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to talk to them. 3780.239990234375-3786.0 DCC: I mean, I just try and still get acclimated. I understand. Um, and I will them. I just try and still get acclimated. I understand. But I will talk to them. They said they 3786.0-3790.39990234375 DCC: make special meals if I if I just order it to the meal before or something like that. 3791.43994140625-3793.679931640625 DCC: I will tell you also, and we don't necessarily 3793.679931640625-3794.280029296875 DCC: have to talk. 3794.280029296875-3796.760009765625 DCC: Now, there are medications that are helpful for alcohol use 3796.760009765625-3799.9599609375 DCC: disorder also, maltrexone, and there's 3799.9599609375-3802.43994140625 DCC: a monthly injection that sometimes people use 3802.43994140625-3805.760009765625 DCC: that are helpful to help with cravings specifically 3805.760009765625-3810.0 DCC: and also just help with long-term sobriety. You know it helps like relapse prevention. 3816.0-3818.0 DCC: It's something that you could think about or research on your own. But I will just mention to you. 3818.0-3819.0 DCC: It's called Naltrexone. 3819.0-3822.0 DCC: It's actually particularly. 3822.0-3832.0 DCC: So the monthly injection is a nice thing because some of the side effects tend to be a little lower when people first started. 3832.0-3833.43994140625 DCC: Can you just spell that? 3833.43994140625-3834.639892578125 DCC: Sure, I'll write it down for you. 3834.639892578125-3847.0 DCC: Okay, it's N-A-L-T-R-E,X-O-N. 3847.0-3850.0 DCC: So it doesn't come in a monthly injection. 3850.0-3851.0 DCC: So you'll be an injection. 3851.0-3853.47998046875 DCC: Well, it's also a pill that you can get. 3853.47998046875-3856.8798828125 DCC: The pill is called Revia, REVIA. 3856.8798828125-3858.719970703125 DCC: That's a daily thing. 3858.719970703125-3859.56005859375 DCC: So you have to take it. 3859.56005859375-3860.56005859375 DCC: REA. 3860.56005859375-3861.840087890625 DCC: REVIA. 3869.56005859375-3872.199951171875 DCC: And then there is a monthly injection that a lot of people find helpful for long-term cravings. 3872.199951171875-3874.320068359375 DCC: Because I wouldn't necessarily. Um, cravings. 3878.199951171875-3878.719970703125 DCC: Because I wouldn't necessarily be surprised if you don't have a ton of cravings while you're here. 3881.320068359375-3881.60009765625 DCC: Typically when people are in like a controlled environment. Yeah. 3881.760009765625-3884.0 DCC: Away from all. Right. 3884.0-3888.0 DCC: I think the last two weeks were good because those were 3888.0-3892.0 DCC: family and my son and I knew I was going away and I spent every 3892.0-3896.320068359375 DCC: minute with my wife from the sun. Obviously that is a good deterrent. 3896.320068359375-3901.60009765625 DCC: Right, so there's not that, you know, and if you're not putting yourself in a situation 3901.60009765625-3904.0 DCC: where you would maybe have as many cravings. 3904.0-3909.0 DCC: But these make me like cloudy or like I feel really, really clear right now. 3909.0-3913.760009765625 DCC: Like clearer than I felt in the one time, I just don't want to mess that up. 3913.760009765625-3916.199951171875 DCC: Yeah, I mean, it's certainly something that doesn't have, 3916.199951171875-3919.919921875 DCC: it's usually more belly issues causes some nausea. 3919.919921875-3922.159912109375 DCC: That's usually much worse when people first started 3922.159912109375-3923.679931640625 DCC: and then it gets better. 3923.679931640625-3926.760009765625 DCC: The shot is better in terms of the nausea also. 3926.760009765625-3929.760009765625 DCC: But it's not something that you necessarily have to start today, but 3929.760009765625-3933.0 DCC: it's something that you might at least think about. 3933.0-3938.0 DCC: Because it does sound like it's at least indicated. 3938.0-3940.0 DCC: I will tell you your options. 3940.0-3945.159912109375 DCC: But yeah, I would just say for now, like focusing on, you know, getting good sleep. 3945.159912109375-3946.9599609375 DCC: I know I saw you're on melatonin gummies. 3946.9599609375-3948.52001953125 DCC: How was your sleep in typical? 3948.52001953125-3957.280029296875 DCC: Um, obviously it's gotten a little bit better, but I've been doing some melatonin at home with us, but I also sometimes would 3957.280029296875-3960.8798828125 DCC: take I guess I didn't know how many milligrams the ones I got at target work was. 3960.8798828125-3965.43994140625 DCC: It was like there's a five milligram prescription in here. There was three there's 3965.43994140625-3972.0 DCC: three milligrams and the ones that I have that I got that they have at the nurses station and I would take 3975.0-3976.0 DCC: I would take three of those. Okay. 3976.0-3980.0 DCC: And then, but sometimes I still had trouble sitting, so I'd take like an apple p.m. 3980.0-3988.60009765625 DCC: But last night they gave me one of the one like a 10 milligram, like a pill, and I took 3988.60009765625-3991.199951171875 DCC: one bunny so it was like 13 grams. 3991.199951171875-3992.199951171875 DCC: And I slept pretty well. 3992.199951171875-3995.43994140625 DCC: I was a little, I mean, probably because it was first night and like everything. 3996.239990234375-4005.0 DCC: I didn't feel like settled as much, but I didn't sleep horrible. But I obviously do have trouble sleeping and staying asleep. 4005.0-4015.0 DCC: And I would normally put my app and everything on, you know, going back to sleep apps and that usually would help me get back to sleep. 4015.0-4020.0 DCC: And I'd always get up at like, you know, 3, 34 o'clock to have to make it live in the bathroom or something like that. 4020.0-4022.0 DCC: She doesn't get an old. 4022.0-4023.0 DCC: But. But. 4023.0-4024.0 DCC: Great. 4024.0-4028.56005859375 DCC: Yeah, so I mean, I would say that ultimate goal would be, it's not surprising that you're 4028.56005859375-4033.43994140625 DCC: having trouble sleeping as very typical after people stop drinking that sleep will be disrupted. 4033.43994140625-4037.0400390625 DCC: So, you know, I would just, sounds like you'd kind of know a lot of the things that you should 4037.0400390625-4044.800048828125 DCC: like, you know, focusing on exercise and healthy diet and the meditation, all that stuff are kind of some of the foundations for good sleep. 4044.800048828125-4047.360107421875 DCC: So I would say focus a lot of those things too. 4047.360107421875-4056.0400390625 DCC: Yeah, and I mean just I mean this is obviously only my second day. First day was more just, you know, paperwork and I met with my 4056.0400390625-4057.280029296875 DCC: therapists, which was nice. 4057.280029296875-4066.080078125 DCC: Is your therapist? William? He's really cool. I was really worried about that because like, you know, I've been to, you know, 4066.080078125-4069.840087890625 DCC: therapy for a couple of, even when I was younger when my parents got divorced. I would, 4069.840087890625-4074.39990234375 DCC: you know, just never gave a shock because you just don't, you know, feel the vibe. 4074.39990234375-4079.0400390625 DCC: But, you know, we seem to pretty, we seem to jail the first time. 4079.0400390625-4084.320068359375 DCC: So, I mean, I'm meeting with them tomorrow and we're going to try to figure out, you know, the right 4084.320068359375-4088.320068359375 DCC: groups that I need to be in. I don't need to be in schizophrenia groups. I don't need 4088.320068359375-4092.639892578125 DCC: to be in the women's group. You know, there's certain groups that I need to be in. 4092.639892578125-4095.60009765625 DCC: Some of the ones that have been in so far have been pretty good. 4095.60009765625-4106.68017578125 DCC: The one, this one was, shame and guilt, which I got pulled out of, I just started it, but I probably like to do that one because I do have some of those feelings 4106.68017578125-4107.39990234375 DCC: are 4107.39990234375-4117.0 DCC: shame and guilt with all, you know, my dad, my,, my friend, and everything, and even my wife and my son, you know, 4117.0-4134.64013671875 DCC: it's there. And to be honest, I, you know, I've always thought about, you know, maybe if I had a problem or whatever I should help and think this is the time where I just really want to put in everything I can possibly put in to get what out. 4134.64013671875-4140.9599609375 DCC: I mean, the old saying is put in, you get out what you put in and I'm ready to put in, 4140.9599609375-4144.39990234375 DCC: you know, I mean, I see some of the other people in the groups and 4144.39990234375-4149.919921875 DCC: you're on their headphones in the phone and they're not. And then, but that's fine, that's not me, 4149.919921875-4153.0 DCC: and I'm doing me. And that's all, that's all I want to do. 4153.0-4156.0 DCC: And I gotta get better for my son and my wife. 4156.0-4157.0 DCC: And my son. 4157.0-4159.0 DCC: And yourself, right? You deserve to have, 4159.0-4161.0 DCC: to be present in this world. 4161.0-4163.2001953125 DCC: The beginning of my journal, if I have that little triangle with it. 4166.64013671875-4174.0 DCC: And it's, that's good. I actually just watched a documentary called Stutz. 4174.0-4176.0 DCC: Have you watched it? 4176.0-4178.0 DCC: It's really good. 4178.0-4180.0 DCC: And I think, I mean, we watched another YouTube one 4180.0-4185.759765625 DCC: in the last one I was in, inthe last group and it was good. I think I've even seen it before 4187.52001953125-4207.0 DCC: about behavior health, things like that. But that one was good and I just think it resonates, you know, you have someone like Jonah Hill, you know, who, you know, you know, famous young actor, books, a lot of the younger generation, that's a lot of them are here. 4207.0-4214.60009765625 DCC: And I think some of the topics that they talked about were pretty great hot, you know, and I thought it was good. 4214.60009765625-4216.60009765625 DCC: I watched it twice before I came here. 4218.39990234375-4220.83984375 DCC: Well, I think a lot of that, you know, some of that is also 4220.83984375-4232.0 DCC: foundation for relapse prevention is that really like caring for yourself. I know that that's part of what he recommends when he first needs people and like, okay, you need to focus on like literally caring for your body. 4232.0-4235.2001953125 DCC: And I do think that is a foundation part of our mental health 4235.2001953125-4237.43994140625 DCC: and for you also, like I think that's the not drinking too. 4237.43994140625-4238.7998046875 DCC: It's like literally caring for your body 4238.7998046875-4241.47998046875 DCC: or giving your brain a chance of clarity, 4241.47998046875-4249.2001953125 DCC: kind of develop that new normal. So I think a lot of it, yeah, it's a really good documentary. 4249.2001953125-4252.7998046875 DCC: Yeah. Well, it's nice to meet you, Michael. Yeah, it was nice to meet you. 4252.7998046875-4253.7998046875 DCC: I'm sorry. 4253.7998046875-4254.8798828125 DCC: My name's Dr. Shaloo. 4254.8798828125-4255.83984375 DCC: That's what I'm sure. 4255.83984375-4256.83984375 DCC: Yeah. 4256.83984375-4257.83984375 DCC: So I'll meet with you weekly. 4257.83984375-4259.52001953125 DCC: If you do have problems or concerns, 4259.52001953125-4262.39990234375 DCC: I try to leave my door open if I'm not with someone. 4262.39990234375-4264.83984375 DCC: So you can knock on my door or pop in if 4264.83984375-4268.919921875 DCC: there's any questions or concerns that you have. Okay great. Do you want me to 4268.919921875-4278.0 DCC: call your wife? I don't have to. I certainly I talked to her. I talked to my wife last night just to let her know I got here and it was good. 4278.0-4282.9599609375 DCC: Say my son had a, five, 45 fever. 4282.9599609375-4284.39990234375 DCC: And those are the things that kill me 4284.39990234375-4287.43994140625 DCC: because it's like I'm not here to help and stuff. 4287.43994140625-4289.16015625 DCC: And we don't have a lot of family around us. 4289.16015625-4290.68017578125 DCC: I mean, we have a lot of family, but 4290.68017578125-4294.0 DCC: people in North Carolina, upstate New York, 4294.0-4299.0 DCC: the unfortunately we have some really good neighbors that are there, 4299.0-4302.0 DCC: and they know everything. 4302.0-4319.0 DCC: So, yes, the support was time. Yeah, I mean, somebody called her and just asked her if the head she had any questions, but I mean, I think she's, you know, she's, she's, she's, she's open to, if 4319.0-4326.7998046875 DCC: everyone asked, I mean, there's no, I have no problem calling her or, you know, might be nice to hear 4326.7998046875-4328.7998046875 DCC: from somebody else. 4328.7998046875-4330.7998046875 DCC: What's her from the number? 4330.7998046875-4340.0 DCC: So, nine38, 9938. 4340.0-4342.0 DCC: Do you think she's working now or? 4342.0-4342.7998046875 DCC: She works in home? 4342.7998046875-4344.60009765625 DCC: Stephanie, right? 4344.60009765625-4346.2001953125 DCC: She probably is working, but. 4346.2001953125-4348.7998046875 DCC: Although, it's not because my son's home. 4348.7998046875-4350.60009765625 DCC: Well, I'm, maybe I'll wait until tomorrow. 4350.60009765625-4351.2001953125 DCC: Hopefully, later. 4351.2001953125-4352.39990234375 DCC: He might be going to school tomorrow. 4352.39990234375-4367.68017578125 DCC: Okay. So sometimes he gets his little like he's never hardly ever I mean other than when he was maybe like the beginning first three weeks of his life was hell. But other than that, he's been pretty good. 4367.68017578125-4375.8798828125 DCC: Yeah, she's a great boy. So I'll wait maybe until tomorrow or so to give her a call so that she's not as stressed 4375.8798828125-4378.64013671875 DCC: with worried about your I know it's like when you have a sick kid it's hard to 4378.64013671875-4384.31982421875 DCC: focus on other things so I'll wait a little bit okay yeah yeah okay so it's nice to meet you, Michael, go get some lunch. 4384.31982421875-4391.1201171875 DCC: Okay, thank you. And make sure you talk to the kitchen. Yeah, I will. I'm going to try to figure out some 4391.1201171875-4394.0 DCC: that stuff. So, let me see. 4394.0-4396.0 DCC: Thank you. 4396.0-4397.0 DCC: All right. 4397.0-4398.0 DCC: Thank you. 4398.0-4399.0 DCC: Thank you. 4399.0-4401.0 DCC: Be like, but on next week at some point, okay? 4401.0-4402.0 DCC: Okay. 4402.0-4404.83984375 DCC: Do I, is it like schedule or do I just, what do I do? 4404.83984375-4406.68017578125 DCC: Like, just anything, I'll come by you. 4406.68017578125-4407.52001953125 DCC: Oh, okay, okay. 4407.52001953125-4409.52001953125 DCC: Okay. All right, take care, Michael. 4409.52001953125-4417.0 DCC: Thanks for your time. 4650.240234375-4651.240234375 DCC: Open or you can leave it cracked. Thank you. Rachel? Right. you you know, you know, you know, you know. you know, you know. You know. you the you know. you. you know, Mocha, a delicious symphony of rich salt and caramel and white chocolate for a luxurious sweet treat. 4651.240234375-4653.0 DCC: Mmm, it suck. What a taste. It sucks. 4653.0-4655.0 DCC: Find a taste of luxury to your day with 4655.0-4656.0 DCC: Wawa's salt. 4656.0-4658.0 DCC: It's your time. 4658.0-4660.0 DCC: Welcome in here, out there, up there, down there. 4660.0-4661.0 DCC: Welcome to the late show. 4661.0-4668.31982421875 DCC: I'm your host Stephen Colbert. Folks, I want to check 4668.31982421875-4681.8798828125 DCC: your calendars because today is officially opposite day, which means it's not opposite day. Or am I? Another 4681.8798828125-4687.0 DCC: thing about today, it's the Lord of Mayor Zalinski's birthday and Joe Biden. 4687.0-4688.0 DCC: Yeah. 4688.0-4692.0 DCC: And Joe Biden got him exactly what he asked for. 4692.0-4692.68017578125 DCC: 30 M1 Abrams tanks. So Biden got him exactly what he asked for. 4692.68017578125-4696.2001953125 DCC: 30 M1 Abrams tanks. 4696.2001953125-4698.1201171875 DCC: This wasn't exactly a huge surprise. 4698.1201171875-4700.919921875 DCC: Olinsky kind of figured out while it was still wrapped. 4706.43994140625-4710.2001953125 DCC: The Abrams is a game changer for this war in Ukraine. It's a state-of-the-art battle tank that weighs 70 tons. 4710.2001953125-4716.240234375 DCC: It is capable of speeds up to 42 miles an hour, plus it comes with a free monk of Sirius XM. 4717.919921875-4721.60009765625 DCC: So while you're preaching enemy lines, you can listen to Stern. 4721.60009765625-4727.35986328125 DCC: Now, compare that to the top of the line Russian tank, which is potato. 4729.35986328125-4738.080078125 DCC: By the way, by the way, our is potato shirts are still for sale. If you haven't got one, all proceeds 4738.080078125-4745.39990234375 DCC: go to world central kitchen who are feeding the people of Ukraine. It makes a great birthday gift if no one has gotten you a tank. 4745.39990234375-4750.39990234375 DCC: So far, we have raised over $300,000. 4750.39990234375-4757.0 DCC: So far. Pentagon officials have been reluctant to send the aprons. 4757.0-4762.0 DCC: Pentagon officials have been reluctant to send the aprons. 4762.0-4764.64013671875 DCC: Then they changed their minds after Germany agreed to send the Abrams. Then they changed their minds after Germany agreed 4764.64013671875-4770.47998046875 DCC: to send its leopard battle tanks to Ukraine. Making this the first time anyone in Europe has said, 4770.47998046875-4773.35986328125 DCC: good news! The German tanks are rolling in. 4776.0-4778.0 DCC: Military support, sir. 4787.0-4795.56005859375 DCC: The military support from the U.S. in Germany could not come soon enough because yesterday, citing the war in Ukraine, a group of scientists updated the position of the Doomsday Clock, which is used to symbolize the likelihood 4795.56005859375-4797.759765625 DCC: of people doing something to end humanity. 4797.759765625-4802.7998046875 DCC: It's kind of a doubt, but still less depressing than any watch the count two steps. 4802.7998046875-4807.60009765625 DCC: I can't, I can't make the rings any. 4809.60009765625-4813.68017578125 DCC: The folks running the dooms day clock are leaders in science, politics, and technology. 4813.68017578125-4818.60009765625 DCC: Let's watch them awkwardly unveil the big scary clock. Keep in mind in this 4818.60009765625-4858.0 DCC: metaphor, midnight is the end of the world. It is now 90 seconds to midnight. Thank you. That pause was 90 seconds. 4858.0-4861.0 DCC: Should we all be dead by now? 4861.0-4866.0 DCC: Guys, you just said the world was ending. Do something. Run, scream, heaven, 4866.0-4871.31982421875 DCC: orgy. Come on, it's the ball of the clock. Blue blazer lady, hop all the rocket shirt 4871.31982421875-4875.0 DCC: guy. Everybody else just, you know, it's just, you're just turning 4875.0-4876.0 DCC: down. 4876.0-4878.0 DCC: Oh, man, you just watch. 4878.0-4879.0 DCC: You see brittle. 4879.0-4883.27978515625 DCC: This year's dooms today clock is not just about nukes. 4883.27978515625-4889.64013671875 DCC: The 90 seconds to midnight warning also refers to global climate change, unabated disinformation 4889.64013671875-4892.68017578125 DCC: online and the ongoing threat of infectious disease. 4892.68017578125-4895.0 DCC: Okay, that's a lot for one time piece to carry. 4896.0-4898.31982421875 DCC: The only clock that addresses all of those issues 4898.31982421875-4907.0 DCC: is it's five o'clock somewhere. Quality family jokes. 4907.0-4911.0 DCC: I fund that up to dad's bar. 4911.0-4914.8798828125 DCC: The GOP is still a reeling from yesterday's revelation that it's not just Joe Biden. 4914.8798828125-4919.56005859375 DCC: Mike Pence also found classified documents at his home in Indiana, and I'll give you the 4919.56005859375-4921.64013671875 DCC: latest in my ongoing segment. 4921.64013671875-4935.60009765625 DCC: What's up, Docs? Mike Pence edition. The president insisted that his staff had a rigorous search of the classified material 4935.60009765625-4938.72021484375 DCC: when they were packing up his D.C. residents, but obviously some stuff slips through the 4938.72021484375-4939.72021484375 DCC: cracks. 4939.72021484375-4945.60009765625 DCC: Now we've learned how, because apparently some boxes came from the White House, which did not go through 4945.60009765625-4947.759765625 DCC: the process the rest of the documents did. 4947.759765625-4951.68017578125 DCC: Mike Pence, have you learned nothing from those announcements at the airport? 4951.68017578125-4954.0 DCC: Never carry a package for someone else. 4954.0-4960.0 DCC: Why yes, Mother and I would love to take your brick of sweet and low wrapped in duct tape. 4960.0-4967.0 DCC: You'd like me to put it where, but that's not where I keep my coffee. 4967.0-4973.2001953125 DCC: Now, now, painting a picture. I'm painting a picture. 4973.2001953125-4974.2001953125 DCC: I'm painting a picture. 4974.2001953125-4977.68017578125 DCC: Seems like everybody's bringing up home classified documents like there were catch-up packets. 4977.68017578125-4982.68017578125 DCC: But South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham says he doesn't have any. 4982.68017578125-4985.16015625 DCC: If you come to my house, you'll find chick fillet bags 4985.16015625-4986.68017578125 DCC: all over the floor, but you're not 4986.68017578125-4988.759765625 DCC: going to find any classified information. 4988.759765625-4995.83984375 DCC: Holy cry for a hell you back, man. I tell you, you come to my house, first thing to hit you is the smell. 4995.83984375-5000.39990234375 DCC: You'll be like, you'll be like, it reeks of cat pee, but I don't see any cats. 5000.39990234375-5003.31982421875 DCC: So then you'll trip over an old bottle of wild turkey 5003.31982421875-5005.2001953125 DCC: and slip on a tear soaked picture of my eggs, 5005.2001953125-5007.0400390625 DCC: and that's when you see me passed down on kitchen floor, 5007.0400390625-5009.60009765625 DCC: full suit, shoe socks, no pants, but yeah. 5012.240234375-5013.35986328125 DCC: Nope, classified information. 5013.35986328125-5018.8798828125 DCC: While a lot of Republicans are mad at Pence, the former Viet got a boost from the former 5018.8798828125-5022.27978515625 DCC: president, Mike Pence is an innocent man. 5022.27978515625-5026.0 DCC: He never did anything knowingly dishonest in his life. 5026.0-5030.0 DCC: I think which is why I tried to have him killed. 5030.0-5037.0 DCC: So... So, I want to think to do Penza for the GOP. 5037.0-5045.43994140625 DCC: I want to think to do Penz relations to the GOP have a clear target for their investigations 5045.43994140625-5047.43994140625 DCC: in its Xbox. 5047.43994140625-5050.64013671875 DCC: You see Microsoft is rolling out a series of updates to improve energy efficiency in 5050.64013671875-5054.72021484375 DCC: its consoles, thereby trimming the gaming industry's carbon emissions and saving 5054.72021484375-5060.240234375 DCC: users money on their electric bills, money that they can spend on cool Xbox games, like 5061.60009765625-5065.0 DCC: like the big ones, like Hall of Zelda at Donkey Party. 5073.2001953125-5077.56005859375 DCC: That's not that's not how Fox News is all the move. Let's go to my colleague, 5077.56005859375-5084.68017578125 DCC: Ainsley air heart. Xbox has also announced they're going woe to and you know because of climate change that they're going woke to in you know because of climate change that 5084.68017578125-5088.43994140625 DCC: they're adding a new feature to their default setting. So if you own an X-Box 5088.43994140625-5095.60009765625 DCC: you can upload this new program and it will turn off after so long to save the environment, the power. 5095.60009765625-5099.7998046875 DCC: Yeah, they want us to turn off our Xbox. 5099.7998046875-5100.7998046875 DCC: What's next? 5100.7998046875-5103.68017578125 DCC: They're going to tell me to turn off my car engine when I pull into the garage. 5103.68017578125-5106.68017578125 DCC: How am I supposed to fall asleep now? 5109.0-5111.60009765625 DCC: But of course, this wouldn't be a good old Fox News 5111.60009765625-5114.1201171875 DCC: Nothing Burger without this somehow being about grooming 5114.1201171875-5115.1201171875 DCC: the kids. 5115.1201171875-5120.080078125 DCC: But they're trying to recruit your kids into climate politics at an earlier age, make 5120.080078125-5122.080078125 DCC: them climate conscious now. 5122.080078125-5123.60009765625 DCC: But... You're right, they're going after the children. 5123.60009765625-5125.8798828125 DCC: Of course they are, but again, what's the point of video games? 5125.8798828125-5127.31982421875 DCC: It's for kids to be kids. 5127.31982421875-5130.1201171875 DCC: Yes, why are they corrupting our kids innocent activities 5130.1201171875-5135.83984375 DCC: like Italian plumbers taking mushrooms and killing turtles or driving a stolen ice cream truck 5135.83984375-5145.35986328125 DCC: through a crack house. So clearly the GOP needs some fresh ideas. Luckily the RNC is getting ready to pick a new chair to lead the GOP into 5145.35986328125-5151.27978515625 DCC: a brighter, safer world, full of guns and corny M&Ms. On Friday, they'll be choosing between 5151.27978515625-5155.1201171875 DCC: current chair Rana Romney, who said my name was Romney, McDaniel, 5155.1201171875-5162.16015625 DCC: pro-Maga attorney Harmique Dillon, as well as, this is real, my pillow CEO Mike Lindell. 5162.16015625-5165.0 DCC: Seen here confirming yes, I did come to this event without pants. 5165.0-5171.0 DCC: Lendell announced his campaign a few months back and said he's doing this for a higher power. 5171.0-5175.2001953125 DCC: I'm afraid about it and this is God's will and this is what I'm doing. 5175.2001953125-5180.39990234375 DCC: I believe this is God's will because God loves a good laugh. I mean, why else would he 5180.39990234375-5184.0 DCC: made those monkeys with bright red butts? It's hilarious. 5184.0-5189.0 DCC: Let's give some of the monkeys bright red butts out. 5189.0-5198.16015625 DCC: Why else? In order to become an eventual candidate, Lindell had to get at least a few members of the 5198.16015625-5200.16015625 DCC: R&C to sign off on his bid. 5200.16015625-5204.8798828125 DCC: When reporters asked him which members, he said, I wouldn't tell you that in a million years. 5204.8798828125-5207.0 DCC: What, you, so you could go attack them. 5207.0-5208.2001953125 DCC: I'm not stupid. 5208.2001953125-5210.39990234375 DCC: You guys must really think I'm dumb. 5247.5-5255.1201171875 DCC: Yes, we can. I sign the group six belt because there was three things that talk about it, me, comedy, you people, which is very funny, any place, the 5255.1201171875-5261.52001953125 DCC: father of a black woman who's getting married to a white man and the reviews are excellent. 5261.52001953125-5264.56005859375 DCC: Tucker Carlson called it the scariest movie I've ever seen. 5266.56005859375-5267.2001953125 DCC: Scary. 5268.27978515625-5271.60009765625 DCC: Anybody feel that earthquake we had this morning at 2 a.m. 5271.7998046875-5284.8798828125 DCC: Yeah, M. Did you feel it? Not at all. I did. I was a 4.2 off the coast of Malibu and it was coupled with an annual reminder of our impending tomb. 5284.8798828125-5289.56005859375 DCC: You know, Washington, they have this group of atomic scientists who gather to update 5289.56005859375-5291.240234375 DCC: what they call the doomsday clock. 5291.240234375-5294.72021484375 DCC: This is a metaphorical measure of how close we are getting to the end of 5294.72021484375-5299.43994140625 DCC: the human race. And I'll tell you what, these guys, they were one thing they really know how to put on a show. 5300.72021484375-5309.9599609375 DCC: We move the clock forward, the closest it has ever been to midnight. It is now 90 5309.9599609375-5327.0 DCC: seconds to midnight. It's like they died already or something. 5327.0-5332.0 DCC: And by the boomstake, by first of it looks like they bought it at Party City. 5332.0-5335.0400390625 DCC: And second, if they want to give people's attention, you need 5335.0400390625-5344.0 DCC: to spice this presentation up like this. It is now 90 seconds to midnight. 5344.0-5367.0 DCC: We're all have to. I didn't know at 90 seconds we're basically one microwave potato away from extinction. 5367.0-5373.35986328125 DCC: In other doomsday news, Donald Trump is going to be back on Facebook and Instagram soon. 5373.72021484375-5378.759765625 DCC: Meta today announced that they are going to reinstate both of his accounts in the coming weeks. 5379.2001953125-5384.8798828125 DCC: The president of Meta Global Affairs said Trump's accounts will come with new guardrails in place to 5384.8798828125-5389.759765625 DCC: deter repeat offenses. Oh, I know, those will work. I'm sure this time it'll be very well 5389.759765625-5397.35986328125 DCC: behaved. Ever since he commanded an army of dibwitted goons to overthrow the government, he's shown a lot of restraint. He's almost a Zen master down. 5398.0-5404.39990234375 DCC: Sadly for Trump, the reprieve has come too late for a big announcement he made on Truth Social. 5404.39990234375-5405.919921875 DCC: Bagar Vance Road day. 5405.919921875-5411.47998046875 DCC: A great honor to have won the senior club championship at Trump International Golf Club, competed 5411.47998046875-5414.72021484375 DCC: against many fine golfers and was hitting the ball long and straight 5414.72021484375-5420.240234375 DCC: The reason that I announced this on fabulous truth is that in a very real way it serves as a physical exam 5420.39990234375-5423.080078125 DCC: Only much tougher you You need strength and stamina. 5423.080078125-5426.1201171875 DCC: When I have strength and stamina, most others don't. 5426.1201171875-5428.9599609375 DCC: You also need strength and stamina to govern. 5428.9599609375-5430.27978515625 DCC: That's right. 5430.27978515625-5435.0 DCC: And I'll tell you, if this isn't the picture of stamina and strength on a street. 5435.0-5440.0 DCC: You know, when I first looked at it, I thought it was the rock. 5440.0-5445.60009765625 DCC: The only problem with this win is Fatty Shack didn't exactly play fair. 5445.60009765625-5449.52001953125 DCC: He missed the whole first day of the tournament because he was in North Carolina, 5449.52001953125-5455.83984375 DCC: paid tribute to himself at a memorial for his super fan Diamond of Diamond and Silk, but he told the organizer 5455.83984375-5460.56005859375 DCC: of the tournament, he said, I played a strong round two days before the tournament, and 5460.56005859375-5463.7998046875 DCC: he decided that would count as his Saturday score. 5463.7998046875-5467.52001953125 DCC: So he started the tournament with a five-stroke lead. 5467.52001953125-5472.31982421875 DCC: Which is like showing up at Mile 6 and claiming you won the marathon. 5472.31982421875-5475.0 DCC: Even Kim Jong-un was like, yeah, right, bro. 5475.0-5480.43994140625 DCC: I mean, meanwhile, this Mike Pence classified documents thing is really throwing Republicans 5480.43994140625-5481.43994140625 DCC: for a loop. 5481.43994140625-5485.60009765625 DCC: They're, you know, they're running around in circles, try to claim that what Biden did 5485.60009765625-5488.0 DCC: is worse than what Mike Pence did. 5488.0-5492.16015625 DCC: Here's Ted Cruz on the documents they found at Joe Biden's house. 5492.16015625-5498.72021484375 DCC: I believe the FBI needs to search the residences of Hunter Biden and any business offices of 5498.72021484375-5500.0 DCC: Hunter Biden. 5500.0-5503.27978515625 DCC: And here's his take on the documents as they pertain to Mike Pence. 5503.27978515625-5506.64013671875 DCC: Oh, look, the Mike Pence story, it's still early. 5506.64013671875-5510.56005859375 DCC: You know, Mike Pence, and as you noted, he is a good friend, he's a good man. 5510.56005859375-5513.52001953125 DCC: He's explained where these came from. 5513.52001953125-5516.31982421875 DCC: That was a mistake, but there's no reason 5516.31982421875-5518.7998046875 DCC: to think it was anything but inadvertent. 5518.7998046875-5520.8798828125 DCC: Right, even though they're exactly the same thing, 5520.8798828125-5524.72021484375 DCC: they're not the same thing. My prince is a good friend. My tennis was like, 5524.72021484375-5531.2001953125 DCC: he's not my friend. I don't barely know that guy. And then we have the new face of the GOP, 5531.2001953125-5535.47998046875 DCC: George Santos, who's now admitted to the Federal Election Commission that 5535.47998046875-5540.64013671875 DCC: a $500,000 personal loan he claimed to have made to his campaign, didn't actually come 5540.64013671875-5541.64013671875 DCC: from him. 5541.64013671875-5544.31982421875 DCC: Of course, that money didn't come. Two years ago the guy reported 5544.31982421875-5549.919921875 DCC: his income was $55,000 you hear. The only way somebody like George Santos comes into $500,000 5549.919921875-5555.759765625 DCC: is if he intentionally slips on barnish he spilled so he could sue home people. 5555.759765625-5565.0 DCC: So now the big question is why did he amend his paperwork and who gave him all that money? have money. Let's go. Let's make it very clear. 5565.0-5566.0 DCC: I don't have been very clear. 5566.0-5567.0 DCC: I don't have that anything. 5567.0-5569.0 DCC: I don't touch any of my efforts. 5569.0-5571.0 DCC: So I don't think it's in January it's the report that I did. 5571.0-5574.39990234375 DCC: We saw that every campaign is too short. 5574.39990234375-5578.7998046875 DCC: So I'm not aware of that answer and we'll have an answer for the first regarding the budget. 5578.7998046875-5584.0 DCC: But where was the source of your funds? What was the source of that money? 5584.0-5588.0 DCC: Sir, why can't you say bals of the money? 5588.0-5590.0 DCC: Why can't you the source of the money? 5590.0-5593.2001953125 DCC: Congressman Sancho, what can you say about the source of that money? 5593.2001953125-5598.64013671875 DCC: My two years resolution, see yes, to ever. 5598.64013671875-5600.64013671875 DCC: Who made the coffee cake flavor? 5600.64013671875-5602.0 DCC: Heck yes. 5602.0-5605.0 DCC: And give the guy a break. 5605.0-5617.0 DCC: Don't you know he went and got the money from the toothbury. 5617.0-5620.0 DCC: We've been going on George Santos a lot. 5620.0-5624.240234375 DCC: And rightly so, I think, but some people have a different way of looking at this, 5624.240234375-5640.0 DCC: including one of our writers, Louis Vertel, who is with us right now to Vertel it, like it is Lewis. The term gay icon gets thrown around a lot. 5640.0-5647.27978515625 DCC: And it's not limited to Madonna or Diana Ross or Snapcrackle and Pop who have been having 5647.27978515625-5649.52001953125 DCC: a threesome in your breakfast since 1933. 5651.52001953125-5654.72021484375 DCC: There are many gay icons, but we need more. 5654.72021484375-5657.1201171875 DCC: In order to thrive as gays, we need to grow our brand. 5657.1201171875-5660.64013671875 DCC: And so I would like to nominate a new gay icon. 5662.0-5665.0 DCC: George Santos. 5667.0-5675.0 DCC: This little goblin boy who dresses like a three-year-old millionaire is a star. 5675.0-5680.0 DCC: I tell you more about him except everything I know right now is a lie. 5680.0-5686.0 DCC: His high school, his college education, his job history, his glasses. 5686.0-5690.0 DCC: Those aren't prescription. 5690.0-5692.0 DCC: You know this bitch can see. 5692.0-5694.31982421875 DCC: And yet, I'm intrigued. When you go this bitch can see. And yet, I'm intrigued. 5694.31982421875-5696.919921875 DCC: When you go through a list of the great liars in history, 5696.919921875-5699.43994140625 DCC: Benedict Darnald, Richard Nixon, 5699.43994140625-5707.0 DCC: Bernie Meda, Felicity Huffman, the vast have been straight and that's not inclusive. We all 5707.0-5715.7998046875 DCC: lie. Lying is built into the gay experience. As a teenager I told people I admired Ryan Philippi because of his performance in Gosper 5715.7998046875-5718.1201171875 DCC: Park. 5718.1201171875-5725.0 DCC: What I meant was, Brian Philipy's abs and I know what you did last summer made me wish I was the thing he did last summer. 5725.0-5727.0 DCC: Here's George Santos and Drag. 5732.0-5734.0 DCC: Here's George Santos and Drag. 5734.0-5737.0 DCC: What is that on his head? 5737.0-5741.0 DCC: That's a wig you buy to evade police. 5741.0-5747.0 DCC: They say he went by the name Kitara Rabas, which in Portuguese means 5747.0-5754.0 DCC: slutty power rangers go in. He's also a trailblazer, literally. 5754.0-5759.31982421875 DCC: Here he is blazing a trail pass reporters with the help of, I believe, a cast member from 5759.31982421875-5760.31982421875 DCC: Glee. 5760.31982421875-5765.0 DCC: And his lies are so shockingly blatant. 5765.0-5770.0 DCC: I mean, what kind of a psychotic banana brain would claim to have appeared on Hannah Montana 5770.0-5773.0 DCC: and the sweet life of Zach and Cody, 5774.27978515625-5776.759765625 DCC: it's so great and you almost have to admire it. 5776.759765625-5779.080078125 DCC: So I applaud George Santos, 5779.080078125-5781.64013671875 DCC: or Anthony DeVolder or Qatar or Rabosh, 5781.64013671875-5783.0400390625 DCC: whatever his name is, 5783.0400390625-5785.1201171875 DCC: for breaking out of the Neil Petrarch Harris, 5785.1201171875-5788.47998046875 DCC: Pete Wuda Judge, gay, goody, two shoes mold. 5788.47998046875-5791.0 DCC: Not all gay people are good. 5791.0-5797.0 DCC: Some of us are awful. 5797.0-5800.0 DCC: Remember this sneaky little queen? 5800.0-5807.35986328125 DCC: Just hope that when George Santos finally gets kicked out of the House of Representatives, 5807.35986328125-5817.0 DCC: he gets a shot at another house, I can watch this sociopath 24 hours a day. 5823.35986328125-5824.43994140625 DCC: So here's the Watch this sociopath 24 hours a day. 5827.919921875-5830.0400390625 DCC: So here's to you, George Santos, like all the great queer heroes. Your balls are freakishly big. 5830.0400390625-5832.47998046875 DCC: Your ego is off the charts. 5832.47998046875-5832.68017578125 DCC: Your mascara looks like a hate crime by Mabelian. Your ego is off the charts. 5832.68017578125-5848.0 DCC: Your mascara looks like a hate crime by Mabelian. I apologize to the Redbocker family. 5848.0-5854.0 DCC: You know, we've been doing this show for, it's just one it's 20th anniversary. 5854.0-5859.72021484375 DCC: Stop telling me you need to stay with your car insurance company longer to get that better 5859.72021484375-5867.0 DCC: deal. That doesn't work. I was with this company for years and had zero issues. No tickets, no claims. 5867.0-5868.0 DCC: And... 5868.0-5874.0 DCC: You've been digging through our history to show how we got here. 5874.0-5876.60009765625 DCC: Now, this was the very first thing we shot. 5876.60009765625-5877.7998046875 DCC: This never appeared on our show. 5877.7998046875-5881.7998046875 DCC: We shot it for the Super Bowl pre-game show to promote our first show. 5881.7998046875-5884.080078125 DCC: And I thought it might be fun to share it tonight. 5884.080078125-5886.8798828125 DCC: I've been working in Comedy Central for six or seven years. 5886.8798828125-5888.64013671875 DCC: And when I moved to network television, 5888.64013671875-5892.1201171875 DCC: we made this, what turns out to be a fascinating time capsule 5892.1201171875-5896.0 DCC: of the year 2003, as I said goodbye to cable. 5896.0-5897.60009765625 DCC: Hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel. 5897.60009765625-5900.60009765625 DCC: My new talk show debuts live tonight on ABC. 5900.60009765625-5906.0 DCC: I'm ready to make the move to the network. But before I go, I've got to say goodbye to cable. 5906.0-5914.0 DCC: Michael Jordan makes a huge decision and Tiger Woods needs to... 5914.0-5916.0 DCC: ... 5916.0-5918.0 DCC: ... 5918.0-5923.83984375 DCC: On Thursday, Chief Weapons Inspector Hansen said Iraqis failed to provide the weapons 5923.83984375-5924.83984375 DCC: information. 5924.83984375-5925.83984375 DCC: Goodbye John Stewart. 5925.83984375-5928.83984375 DCC: Goodbye, Jimmy Kimball, miss. 5928.83984375-5937.0 DCC: Good luck to you, my friend. I'll go battle box you said by. 5937.0-5944.0 DCC: It's going to be a classic uniform like the Raiders, the black, the silver, oh by Jimmy. 5944.0-5946.0 DCC: Thanks so much. 5946.0-5948.0 DCC: I'm listening. 5948.0-5957.0 DCC: Such a resolution were ever brought before it. The Secretary General of European Department of Justice 5957.0-5960.0 DCC: was the Secretary of General of European Department. 5960.0-5962.0 DCC: What's your favorite? 5962.0-5965.0 DCC: Excellent. Very good. What you're times. What's your three good? Very good. What's your the right side? 5965.0-5974.0 DCC: 9% of the same too. Thank you. It's a great general. 5974.0-5991.60009765625 DCC: Oh, but you're better than their talk to the comforter because it's for a long. 5991.60009765625-5995.0 DCC: It's been luxurious for a long. She looks very expensive for her. 5995.0-5997.0 DCC: She looks very expensive for her. 5997.0-5999.0 DCC: Remember, 5999.0-6000.0 DCC: you can do it. 6000.0-6003.0 DCC: Thank you. Oh, okay. Yes. 6003.0-6004.0 DCC: Yes. 6004.0-6005.0 DCC: Oh, thank you. 6005.0-6017.0 DCC: Bye. I'm not sure. I'm going to have a touch on the phone. 6017.0-6019.0 DCC: Hi, Sopanos. 6019.0-6024.0 DCC: You go. What's with the device of time? I'm going to do a touch on ABC. 6024.0-6055.9599609375 DCC: No, no, no, no. You're took it off the cable. What's wrong with cable? Oh, oh. Seniors are getting an extra $2,000 from the senior stimulus program, but you can get 6055.9599609375-6057.56005859375 DCC: it only if you claim it. 6057.56005859375-6059.52001953125 DCC: This senior benefit boost is giving... 6059.52001953125-6065.27978515625 DCC: Our first guest tonight, ah forget 20 years, They have more than 250 years in show business combined. 6065.27978515625-6070.31982421875 DCC: They have won every award and collected every accolade of matchable. And how they're out 6070.31982421875-6073.83984375 DCC: to win a Super Bowl 2 in thethe new comedy 80 for Brady it opens the 6073.83984375-6120.0 DCC: theaters February 3rd please welcome Lily Tomlin Jane Clondro. you know. you Orsome, as impressive as the forum view, so thank you. 6120.0-6127.0 DCC: Thank you. Thank you. Did you, did your car fall here together? 6127.0-6129.35986328125 DCC: No, we should have though. 6129.35986328125-6131.35986328125 DCC: The way Jane thinks we should. 6131.35986328125-6132.35986328125 DCC: That's right. 6132.35986328125-6135.43994140625 DCC: Jane is very, yes, very, she cares about the environment. 6135.43994140625-6137.7998046875 DCC: You really do, Jane, don't you? 6137.7998046875-6140.83984375 DCC: Yeah, but we all do, you know, it's not just a one person. 6140.83984375-6151.68017578125 DCC: She's a great influencer. That's important. Yes, that's for sure. But I'm, and I don't want to argue right off the bat with you Rita. 6151.68017578125-6153.52001953125 DCC: Jay cares more than everyone else does. 6155.27978515625-6160.8798828125 DCC: He really does. Who among you has known each other the longest? Which you owe? 6160.8798828125-6182.8798828125 DCC: I think that's fond of it. Right. But I think that Fonda right yeah, but I think that Fonda and I are second. You guys are second. You guys are second. You guys are first. You met on is it what you need on 9 to 5 is that where it happened? Well, I hired her from a distance and then I can I were a clue here to and I try to show her but she never noticed. And then one day she came to seat me on stage. 6182.8798828125-6183.56005859375 DCC: Okay. 6183.56005859375-6185.8798828125 DCC: And then she offered me to part 95. 6185.8798828125-6187.080078125 DCC: Oh, how about that? 6187.080078125-6189.47998046875 DCC: And while I was driving home from the theater 6189.47998046875-6191.72021484375 DCC: after being smitten by this one, 6191.72021484375-6200.0 DCC: I turned the radio on and Dolly Parton was singing two doors down and I suddenly got this image of Dolly Parton at a typewriter. 6200.0-6206.0 DCC: You know, she can't see her hands. But wow, she's never done a movie. 6206.0-6207.0 DCC: That would be really something. 6207.0-6208.0 DCC: Is that true? 6208.0-6209.0 DCC: Is that really true? 6209.0-6210.0 DCC: I'm a way home from seeing Lily. 6210.0-6212.0 DCC: You just about the same manager 6212.0-6214.31982421875 DCC: took me a year to convince them. 6214.31982421875-6217.27978515625 DCC: What was the holdout if you were tally? 6217.27978515625-6218.47998046875 DCC: Both of them. 6218.47998046875-6220.47998046875 DCC: I thought that. 6220.47998046875-6245.60009765625 DCC: Oh, yeah. And then a week into the shooting, she wanted to quit that she was neurotic, the fact that she was wearing a clut haircut when she met you? 6245.60009765625-6249.60009765625 DCC: No, the fact that she's working for, first of all, that she needed to be convinced, 6249.60009765625-6252.39990234375 DCC: it took me a year to convince her to be in the movie. 6252.39990234375-6254.2001953125 DCC: Then she was in it for a week and said, 6254.2001953125-6255.39990234375 DCC: I need to quit. 6255.39990234375-6256.39990234375 DCC: I'm no good. 6256.39990234375-6259.0 DCC: Oh, you were insecure. 6259.0-6260.0 DCC: Yeah. 6260.0-6261.0 DCC: Oh. 6261.0-6262.0 DCC: Well, first of all, I said. 6262.0-6270.0 DCC: There. Uh-huh. You know. And. Oh, well, first of all, Honda was there, you know, and Dolly, Dolly was there and be a lot of reason to be insecure. 6270.0-6273.2001953125 DCC: Have you guys, have you and Rita worked together before? 6273.2001953125-6275.31982421875 DCC: I was on Grace and Frankie. 6275.31982421875-6276.47998046875 DCC: Oh, Grace and Frankie. 6276.47998046875-6278.16015625 DCC: Right. That's Sally and Jane. 6278.16015625-6280.16015625 DCC: You guys know, do each other from when? 6280.16015625-6287.0 DCC: Well, Jane sent me a letter right after I did normal race, so that was in 1980, and said, 6287.0-6291.1201171875 DCC: I really, you know, like your work, let's have lunch together. 6291.1201171875-6294.56005859375 DCC: And I wrote her back and I think I still have the letter that she sent 6294.56005859375-6299.7998046875 DCC: me, but I didn't have the letter I say her. They said, I admire so much, but I can't have 6299.7998046875-6305.35986328125 DCC: lunch with you because I would just be too nervous. And I said no I can't have lunch with you. Maybe someday. 6305.35986328125-6312.7998046875 DCC: And then a year or so later I had a I had a development deal at Fox. 6312.7998046875-6314.240234375 DCC: She had a deal at Fox. 6314.240234375-6315.47998046875 DCC: I didn't know what I was doing. 6315.47998046875-6318.16015625 DCC: I sat there in this office alone without a typewriter 6318.16015625-6319.2001953125 DCC: or a person I sat there. 6319.2001953125-6320.0 DCC: Why am I here? 6320.0-6320.9599609375 DCC: What am I doing? 6320.9599609375-6324.0400390625 DCC: I knock on the door and it was Jane and she had her development 6324.0400390625-6329.2001953125 DCC: company like across the hall, across the street and she said time's up. That's 6329.2001953125-6334.0 DCC: it. Time's up. We're going to lunch right now. And forever after I couldn't get her out of my life. 6334.0-6347.0 DCC: And is it true that Jane and Rita, you guys somehow met through Marlon Brando? 6347.0-6348.0 DCC: No. 6348.0-6349.0 DCC: No. 6349.0-6352.0 DCC: No, no, no. 6352.0-6359.0 DCC: I met. We met when I was doing her part, Violet Houston in the TV series 9 to 5. 6359.0-6362.0 DCC: I was playing Violet Houston. 6362.0-6375.759765625 DCC: That's when you got that. That's why I met Jane who was producing the TV series. I see. I don't know why I thought there was some like story about what you were friends with Carla Brando and he he was in love with her and so I followed that. 6375.759765625-6378.7998046875 DCC: There's lots of stories to be told but we can't get into it. 6380.7998046875-6386.0 DCC: How to organize all your family pictures and videos instantly, watch to find out. 6386.0-6399.27978515625 DCC: This little device is the best solution that finds, sorts and backs up all your photos. Are you thinking of one in particular? 6399.27978515625-6400.43994140625 DCC: Is that what's happening? 6400.43994140625-6402.2001953125 DCC: Well, I'm thinking of something else. 6402.2001953125-6405.0 DCC: Like, you know. happening? Well I'm thinking of something else. Do you like to know? 6405.0-6406.0 DCC: No! 6406.0-6407.0 DCC: No! 6407.0-6408.0 DCC: Okay. 6408.0-6409.0 DCC: Don't go there. 6409.0-6410.0 DCC: Don't go there. 6410.0-6411.0 DCC: She's a light. 6411.0-6416.0 DCC: She's like it when I talk about sex and I love tick. 6416.0-6417.0 DCC: I agree. 6417.0-6419.0 DCC: I like it. 6425.0-6430.0 DCC: I like it as much as anybody does. It's just I don't like being graphically verbal about it in public like this. 6430.0-6435.0 DCC: I mean, I love it sometimes today. 6435.0-6437.0 DCC: It's really. 6437.0-6441.0 DCC: There's no reason I've not. 6441.0-6443.0 DCC: There's a reason I've not you want though. 6443.0-6446.0 DCC: I don't know. 6446.0-6450.0 DCC: I'll say. 6450.0-6451.0 DCC: I don't say. 6451.0-6455.0 DCC: You have nothing else to handle. 6455.0-6465.0 DCC: I simply want to say that the scene the difficulty takes place in a locker room, where the guys are, you El the Bronx, all of these guys. 6465.0-6470.0 DCC: And I entered the room, and it's a real locker room, and I swear to God, 6470.0-6473.0 DCC: like in seconds I got turned on. 6473.0-6481.0 DCC: You're seeing a room full of naked men excited you for some reason? 6481.0-6484.0 DCC: Not only excited, I'm grabbing myself. 6484.0-6485.0 DCC: Oh, cool, girl. 6491.0-6495.0 DCC: I'm saying to myself what is wrong with you. 6495.0-6501.0 DCC: You are, there was that 90, I'm 90, I'm 90, and I'm saying to myself, and then I thought, 6501.0-6503.0 DCC: nothing wrong with that. 6503.0-6507.0 DCC: I want to put a picture up. 6507.0-6512.0 DCC: I want to put a picture up on the wall. 6512.0-6514.0 DCC: You know, my speaking of I want to put a picture up on the wall. If you don't mind, 6514.0-6516.0 DCC: speaking of climate change, the environment. 6516.0-6518.0 DCC: It's just... 6518.0-6525.0 DCC: Everyone other than Reno being arrested at various protests. 6529.0-6532.0 DCC: And boy, the three of you look so happy to be arrested. 6532.0-6534.240234375 DCC: Jane is a bad guy. Some of you look so happy to be arrested. 6536.240234375-6538.8798828125 DCC: Jane is a bad influence, isn't she? She, Jane, did you make this happen? 6538.8798828125-6540.240234375 DCC: Did you encourage this? 6540.240234375-6541.240234375 DCC: Yeah. 6541.240234375-6542.240234375 DCC: Yeah. 6542.240234375-6546.64013671875 DCC: When you have friends that are arrested, do they ever get upset with you for talking? 6546.64013671875-6553.35986328125 DCC: Every single one of them thanks me. Really? Said they found it a transformative experience. 6553.35986328125-6553.8798828125 DCC: Wow. 6553.8798828125-6554.43994140625 DCC: Yes. 6554.43994140625-6557.0 DCC: At that point, we needed to be arrested because 6557.0-6562.27978515625 DCC: people might be arrested again, 6562.27978515625-6564.64013671875 DCC: otherwise they would take her away for a week. 6564.64013671875-6565.64013671875 DCC: Is that what it is? 6565.64013671875-6566.64013671875 DCC: Many months. 6566.64013671875-6567.64013671875 DCC: Many months. 6567.64013671875-6568.64013671875 DCC: We had a contract. 6568.64013671875-6572.43994140625 DCC: Yeah, the three strikes for the law has been to you, Jay. 6572.43994140625-6575.0 DCC: We all throw ourselves on the sword. 6575.0-6578.0 DCC: We'll go, we'll go and they, you know, they just came off. 6578.0-6611.0 DCC: The crisis is so serious that we have to move from being concerned about it to taking action andto ask you all to take a break. We're going to handp everyone and we'll be right back with the cast of 80 for the most responsible one. 6611.0-6619.31982421875 DCC: Oh, this was a bulb spot. And now look at this. I have more hair, which 6619.31982421875-6626.240234375 DCC: is all due to Karenique. It actually grew hair. Karanik has given me more hair. It has made my 6626.240234375-6636.0 DCC: hair shiny. It's even made my hair thicker. I would have never thought that this and this can happen in such a simple product. 6636.0-6639.0 DCC: Don't live with thinning hair. 6639.0-6645.0 DCC: Now, parody, America's number one system to restore and regrow women's hair has a special offer. 6645.0-6647.0 DCC: These are real care and make results. 6647.0-6651.0 DCC: Over 2 million women have seen what Kyrrhny can do for their thinning hair. 6651.0-6653.1201171875 DCC: If your hair is thinning, 6653.1201171875-6655.919921875 DCC: Harry, you can get results like this for you too. 6655.919921875-6658.080078125 DCC: The care and ink system is the most complete, 6658.080078125-6661.0 DCC: clinically proven air regrowth system available. 6661.0-6665.0400390625 DCC: With results like this and our special offer, there's never been a better time to get 6665.0400390625-6671.35986328125 DCC: started with Karenique. Kiernique actually grows hair. New hairs have filled in the areas where 6671.35986328125-6673.52001953125 DCC: I had patches of scalp showing. 6673.52001953125-6674.52001953125 DCC: Actual growth. 6674.52001953125-6677.1201171875 DCC: Yeah, the hair grew on my head. 6677.1201171875-6679.60009765625 DCC: My hair was falling out and socks. 6679.60009765625-6680.9599609375 DCC: I'm miserable. 6680.9599609375-6682.080078125 DCC: I found their knee. 6682.080078125-6687.759765625 DCC: I have hair. I have beautiful hair. It's full. And you can see it. 6687.759765625-6693.0 DCC: Everything's filled in. That's exciting. The hernake system is fast and easy to use. 6693.0-6699.0 DCC: It includes the sulfate and harabin-free shampoo and conditioner with a proprietary formula that helps fight hair loss. 6699.0-6702.0 DCC: The tyranny lip and repair treatment spray. 6702.0-6707.83984375 DCC: Clinically improved. here any lift and repair treatment spray clinically from the okay okay the 6707.83984375-6711.27978515625 DCC: thing I brought my stuff on 6711.27978515625-6717.0 DCC: I don't think that's, you just strap it off. 6717.0-6721.0 DCC: Wow. That's a banny bag. 6721.0-6723.68017578125 DCC: Well, not if you don't wear it around your fanny. 6723.68017578125-6726.56005859375 DCC: If you wear it like this, it's the strap on. 6727.759765625-6728.759765625 DCC: I'm sick. 6729.759765625-6747.0400390625 DCC: Did I wear a bag? So this movie is based loosely, but based on a real group of women who were New England Patriots bands, they started this group over 80 for Brady 6747.64013671875-6752.080078125 DCC: Fans of Tom Brady and you guys were required to 6755.0-6756.2001953125 DCC: depict them in the film. This is, do you watch football? 6756.2001953125-6757.60009765625 DCC: Are you football fans? 6757.60009765625-6758.60009765625 DCC: Oh yeah. 6758.60009765625-6759.60009765625 DCC: Yeah, I love it. 6759.60009765625-6761.89990234375 DCC: Really no, Jane no. 6761.89990234375-6764.0 DCC: Baseball. Baseball. I'm baseball too. 6764.0-6766.0 DCC: And I'm gas the phone. 6766.0-6768.0 DCC: Both. 6768.0-6770.0 DCC: The three sons. 6770.0-6772.0 DCC: Oh, well, that explains it. 6772.0-6773.0 DCC: Tom Brady is one of the producers of... Oh, well that explains it. I heard that so much. 6773.0-6776.0 DCC: Tom Brady is one of the producers of the film 6776.0-6778.0 DCC: and is also in the movie. 6778.0-6782.0 DCC: But it's always like acting with Tom Brady. 6782.0-6786.240234375 DCC: Always great. It's very natural actor. Was he? Yeah. 6786.240234375-6792.240234375 DCC: Oh, listens very well. Perfect. Everyone agree with that? He's marvelous in it. I was 6792.240234375-6793.0 DCC: really kind of great. I was really kind of, great. 6793.0-6796.0 DCC: I was very impressed and in fact touched. 6796.0-6800.0 DCC: And when she says, listens, you know, actors sometimes don't listen well. 6800.0-6802.0 DCC: They're just listening to dialogue. 6802.0-6802.60009765625 DCC: This guy really listens. They're just listening to dialogue. 6802.60009765625-6805.39990234375 DCC: This guy really listens. 6805.39990234375-6808.60009765625 DCC: And she had a long speech that she had to say to him. 6808.60009765625-6810.83984375 DCC: And he was, he was marvelous in it. 6810.83984375-6824.0 DCC: When you met him, did you start touching yourself all over? He's a little old. 6824.0-6825.0 DCC: About. 6825.0-6832.72021484375 DCC: We're in a not very large voter home because you're in a not very large motor home, 6832.72021484375-6835.0 DCC: because you're sharing it with somebody else. 6835.0-6838.0 DCC: And Tom Brady walks in. 6839.2001953125-6840.39990234375 DCC: My knees gave way. 6840.39990234375-6841.0 DCC: Really? 6841.0-6843.0 DCC: Well, I mean, it's always get way. 6847.0-6849.0 DCC: Not for the same reason. Okay. 6849.0-6855.0 DCC: I feel like you filled up the whole place. His aura was so huge. 6856.7998046875-6858.2001953125 DCC: Oh, we all say anything. 6858.2001953125-6859.2001953125 DCC: Yeah, I'm not. 6862.2001953125-6866.39990234375 DCC: I'm very sorry and generous gave us all a jersey that he signed. 6866.39990234375-6867.60009765625 DCC: Okay, nice. 6867.60009765625-6870.39990234375 DCC: And I was holding myself up, holding under the stoves. 6870.39990234375-6877.0 DCC: No, I, I, when I knew they were coming I went out welcome to all the ball players and I stood out there and offered them coffee. 6877.0-6882.0 DCC: I didn't come into my motorhome because I said, hi, I'm Sally. Anybody want coffee? 6882.0-6887.0 DCC: I thought the other actor and I'm here and gosh, I'm so glad you're here. 6887.0-6890.0 DCC: And see, that's why we appointed her the responsible. 6890.0-6892.0 DCC: That's why you've got to. 6892.0-6904.39990234375 DCC: Mama Sally, the youngest of us all. That's right. You're like a kid sister to this group. I heard Rita that you are you have a text relationship with Marshallon Lynch now is that true? 6904.39990234375-6909.52001953125 DCC: Oh yeah, he uh, not only Marshon but with a ludicrous. 6909.52001953125-6910.52001953125 DCC: Oh really? 6910.52001953125-6914.43994140625 DCC: We're, uh, we're text buddies. 6914.43994140625-6915.919921875 DCC: You, Marsh on and Ludicrous. 6915.919921875-6917.60009765625 DCC: Are you wanting to change together? 6917.60009765625-6920.9599609375 DCC: I bet, you know, I'm in the next D'I di Viesel movie. 6920.9599609375-6922.31982421875 DCC: Oh, wow. 6922.31982421875-6926.759765625 DCC: I think I said D'In Viesel, Den Beasle's good too. I like 6926.759765625-6931.64013671875 DCC: Din Beasle. I'm in the next movie and I met ludicrous and I just fell in love 6931.64013671875-6935.2001953125 DCC: with him. He fell in love with me just as friends. 6935.2001953125-6940.47998046875 DCC: We were like text buddies. Wow. And Marshaan too are suddenly get, but 6940.47998046875-6946.240234375 DCC: Marsha never signs his stuff. so I'm always writing back who the hell are you? 6946.240234375-6950.47998046875 DCC: And why don't you, why don't you put your name on your messages? 6950.47998046875-6951.47998046875 DCC: Who are you? 6951.47998046875-6952.47998046875 DCC: How does it happen? 6952.47998046875-6954.0 DCC: That you exchanged numbers with 6954.0-6958.72021484375 DCC: Arshan in the first place? I had no idea who he was. I didn't know who it was. 6958.72021484375-6963.35986328125 DCC: And we, there was a lot of time between takes and we just started to talk and gather.

GMT20230131_DCC_1045

20230131

Dr. Courtney Chellew

Ankit Bagai

0.0-22.784000396728516 DCC: you know,